stress

[hannaugh]

Does anyone else get stress-triggered ailments?  I'm freaking out about planning my wedding and moving, and it is manifesting myself in more physical ways than usual.  The muscles in my throat get all tense, so I've been getting sore throats a lot.  Plus I've gotten more coldsores and mouth ulcers in the past 6 months than my entire life.

I think my fiance is stressed out too, he has gotten sick like 5 times in the last 4 months. 

Uuuuggghhh I wish I could just fast forward like 6 months so it would all be done.

 

[guitlouie]

I've been with my woman for over 12 years.  We never did bother to have a wedding.  When people ask me why,  I tell them I just didn't want to get that worked up about it. 

I try really hard, and I mean hard, to not go to sleep stressed.  If I have to take an extra hour working out my shite, well, I do.  I wake up almost every day with a positive attitude.  Of course it does not take long for this world to crush that into oblivion, but at least those first few minutes are good.....  :laughing11:

 

[Wana_make_a_guitar]

No. But every ow and then I just freak out and go mental if i'm piled high with schoolwork, but that rarely happens. For example, right now I'm reading four different books, I have to study for a project that adds up to 15% of my total marks in science, I have a months work of maths homework to do and a week to do it in and I have to practice and study music theory and try to remember 5 songs (thats a lot for me!) for a test that tells me i'm a stage 1 certified contemporary guitarist.

And right now i'm fine, though if I had all this work to do when I was still in grade 6, i'd be on the floor bawling my eyes out.

 

[nathan a]

Well, I have a reasonably mild case of Tourettes (no I don't spontaneously swear, my profanity is carefully and deliberately crafted) -- but when I am stressed, my tics get worse. So, yes.

 

[UTSC]

Selective Seretonin Reuptake Inhibitors... Works for everything  :sad:

 

[OzziePete]

I have sympathy for you Hannaugh. I get stress related illnesses and rant and rave like a lunatic at times.

In the past I have been known to throw up, get mouth ulcers, get the 'trots', darn near pass out, get headaches, get short in breath, go off my food......

I have found that as I get older I don't handle the stress as well. I have been a shift worker for over 15 years now, but lately the days off have been wipeouts with fatigue. The fact I am at least 10 kilos over my ideal weight doesn't help.

Having run myself down with work in the immediate months post 9/11 in 2001 ( I was working in a Federal Govt. security job then), I embarked upon a great Christmas party period only to get shingles in the New Year that nearly sent me blind in one eye (had shingles in my right eye and the top quarter on my face), and slowed me down for a good 3 months. Part of the reason I got shingles was due to the stress of the job I was in.

So please take care. Shingles is not a laughing matter and if you have previously had chicken pox, you can be prone to it.

I have to get myself down to the gym, been saying that since New Years Eve. But really I have to get fit and then I can manage the shift work a lot better if I get the weight off and feel fitter.

I find too, that a better fitness level and diet actually helps manage the stresses of the day.

The funny thing about my current job (bus driver) is that I am quite relaxed behind the wheel. The things that stress me are the travelling to and from work and the worries about my future and money, and how I find myself at this stage of my life.

 

[NonsenseTele]

I work with son-of-a-not-that-good-mothers that hasn't a clue of what mean honor and can't difference right from wrong (like sabotage me and the youngers, not good on a place you an kill yourself making a mistake)...

Having been stressed on the last 4 years, putting on weight, getting the blood pressure higher, liver giving hints that's not working that fine (I'm 24, bad thing) and feeling very very dismotivated... Also got some skin deseases (nothing serious like spalted ) from a little while...


Regards the wedding, I now it's a very important day and everybody wants it to be perfect, but just knowing that there is no way to have it perfect may helps a lot (or throwing all resposabilities to parents and only care about enter, say yes, drink and honey moon is the other option... :laughing7

edit: correct misplace of words

 

[stubhead]

I used to freak out a lot. I eventually figured out that there were a few things contributing. You have to sleep, so your body can regenerate. If you can't sleep, figure out why cause it's important - pills are not a good idea if the underlying causes go untreated. Eating real food matters, I'm not fanatic about it but if you don't buy grease & sugar you can't eat them, huh. Other than that, you just want to have something YOU like that's important, then spend your time on that - music works... :hello2: if the good stuff isn't enough to pull you through the bad stuff, some levels of one or the other needs to be changed.

People spend an awful lot of time doing things they don't even like, and you'll never get that time back. How many hours of practice does it take to get really, really, really World-Class great - at watching TV? Imagine that argument in the old-folks home, I was the best TV watcher EVER! No, I was.... I had to kill my TV cause it made me nervous, it's just gotten so strident and dense - there are over 200 music clips played every hour as background noise.

You live in LA, that's tough. I had to leave Miami because I just couldn't stand the nastiness, man... police sirens all night long, murders would only make the front page if there was cannibalism, home invasion or Santeria involved. I spent a few summers in D.C., the people there stomp around scowling & if you ever said "hello" to a stranger you'd get arrested (in Miami they shoot you). Avoiding jerks is healthy. Find something you like that matters to you and DO it - it should match up to your nature, some people are night people, some people are hyper, some people like physical work, some people are smart.

 

[jackthehack]

I don't know what's wrong with people these days, minor ass puppy shit that's part of the normal course of life is stressful?

You need some perspective I think...

Stress is trying to figure out where the sniper is before he can adjust the windage on his scope better.
Stress is having children to feed and no money/resources till late next week.
(Contemporaneous) Stress is getting a pink slip and a foreclosure notice in the same week.

Anything less severe than the above type of categories like wedding planning, a pulled in deadline at work, moving, etc. is not stress, but rather falls into the general category of aggravation.

In your particular case, do not fail to take into account that the subconscious/subliminal part of brain isn't down with the marrying/moving plan and this is manifesting itself physically. The "gut" often knows far better about things than what we've allowed our "logical" brains to be talked into, or has talked/rationalized ITSELF into. Take some time and ponder/analyze that very seriously before burning any bridges/jumping off any cliffs, metaphorically...

 

[callaway]

I don't know what's wrong with people these days, minor ass puppy shite that's part of the normal course of life is stressful?

You need some perspective I think...

Stress is trying to figure out where the sniper is before he can adjust the windage on his scope better.
Stress is having children to feed and no money/resources till late next week.
(Contemporaneous) Stress is getting a pink slip and a foreclosure notice in the same week.

Anything less severe than the above type of categories like wedding planning, a pulled in deadline at work, moving, etc. is not stress, but rather falls into the general category of aggravation.

In your particular case, do not fail to take into account that the subconscious/subliminal part of brain isn't down with the marrying/moving plan and this is manifesting itself physically. The "gut" often knows far better about things than what we've allowed our "logical" brains to be talked into, or has talked/rationalized ITSELF into. Take some time and ponder/analyze that very seriously before burning any bridges/jumping off any cliffs, metaphorically...

Please never give anyone else psychological advice, ever.

 

[GoDrex]

I totally agree with Jack.

 

[tfarny]

Whether you call it stress or aggravation is semantics, but all the stuff above is part of normal life. I think if you're young and have options in your life, like the ability to move, change jobs, marry etc., then stress about 'am I making the right choice or not' is really nothing in the scheme of things. It's when you are older with more obligations, and your choices are constrained or nonexistent, like not ever being able to quit a shitey job because your kid needs the health care, that the real stress comes.

And weddings in this country have gotten beyond ridiculous, it's like a national ailment at this point. One of my wife's coworkers was browbeaten into spending nearly a year of his gross salary on a wedding because he married into money; totally sick if you ask me. Another friend ended up basically 'losing' a full year of graduate school because she became obsessed with wedding planning. IT'S NOT THE CEREMONY THAT MATTERS!!!!!!!!!! It's the promising never to ever sleep with anyone else ever, and to always support someone even if they end up crippled and bankrupt, THAT IS a reasonable source of aggravation, or stress as most people like to call it. You should both just drive out to Vegas and get it done quick if you want to marry; save your dough for the move and spend your wedding planning time rocking out. You won't remember much about the ceremony anyhow, you're just the main actress in a ritual play, while at the same time being the director and producer, you'll be running around trying to get all the stage props etc. in place all day long.
Jack has not been married, I assume.

 

[GoDrex]

I know a guy (he's got money - probably mob ties too hehehe) who spent around 100 grand on a wedding  - all this extravagant shit and food and whatnot - and a year later they're separated and getting divorced. As far as I'm concerned that is money that was pissed away. I find it obscene. I really think if your wedding starts going into five figures, there's something wrong.

 

[dbw]

I agree... shelling out a few grand to make it fancy is one thing, but 100K is ridiculous.

 

[Superlizard]

As a womerns, getting married to a guy is no big deal... it's when (as a guy) you're getting married to a womerns that you'd better worry.  :toothy10:

 

[m4rk0]

Jack has a good point!!

My wedding was low budget, unrehearsed and stress-free!! I even played with my band on my own wedding!!

 

[Mor Paul]

I've got a friend who would get really stressed out. The last 2 times I called her, she had panic attacks. One of them, she passed out, and I had my first chat with her brother trying to tell him what to do.

 

[nathan a]

I don't know what's wrong with people these days, minor ass puppy shite that's part of the normal course of life is stressful?

You need some perspective I think...

Stress is having people publicly belittle your feelings...?

 

[hannaugh]

I don't know what's wrong with people these days, minor ass puppy shiteee that's part of the normal course of life is stressful?

You need some perspective I think...

Stress is trying to figure out where the sniper is before he can adjust the windage on his scope better.
Stress is having children to feed and no money/resources till late next week.
(Contemporaneous) Stress is getting a pink slip and a foreclosure notice in the same week.

Anything less severe than the above type of categories like wedding planning, a pulled in deadline at work, moving, etc. is not stress, but rather falls into the general category of aggravation.

In your particular case, do not fail to take into account that the subconscious/subliminal part of brain isn't down with the marrying/moving plan and this is manifesting itself physically. The "gut" often knows far better about things than what we've allowed our "logical" brains to be talked into, or has talked/rationalized ITSELF into. Take some time and ponder/analyze that very seriously before burning any bridges/jumping off any cliffs, metaphorically...

Um, does real stress include waking up in the morning to find one of the family members you live with dead in their bed?  Cause, that's what happened to me last year.  Oh yeah, and at the same time we had my other family members threatening to commit suicide and yet another one screaming insane things at me on a daily basis and calling me worthless, while I'm trying to hold down 2 jobs and graduate from school AND take care of said people, even though they are all older than me.  So yes, I know that there are worse things than moving out and getting married, but I'm not an effing robot.  No one is a robot, and you can't control what gives you stress and what doesn't give you stress. 

As far as your advice, moving out and getting married is the greatest thing I can do and I'm counting down the days.  I'm really excited about it.  But, I'm nervous about being the center of attention at the wedding and I'm nervous about financial things, but my future husband is the sweetest man I have ever met and I love him more than anything.  It's just a big change. 

When I started college I lost 15 pounds because I couldn't eat.  It wasn't that college was a bad idea, it was just a big change, so I was naturally nervous about it. 


And to all who assume we're having a big wedding... my problem is explaining to everyone that we don't want to spend lots of money and we want it to be as casual and private as possible.  You would be amazed how many people act like you are a weirdo when you're a woman and you say that you don't want a fancy wedding.  We are also having a fairly non-traditional wedding, and that is causing a lot of annoying comments from various family members who insist that we do what they want us to do and not what we want to do. 

And by the way, when ANYONE gets married it is a big deal, no matter your gender.  If you marry the wrong man, there is a lot at stake.  My friend's mom married a guy who turned out to be gay, and then he became a drug addict and destroyed the lives of the entire family. 

Interestingly enough, the rate of depression among married men is lower than single men, and the rate of depression among married women is higher than single women.  So married men are usually happier than single guys, but it is the opposite for women. 

 

[UTSC]

Interestingly enough, the rate of depression among married men is lower than single men, and the rate of depression among married women is higher than single women.  So married men are usually happier than single guys, but it is the opposite for women. 

Gay marriage is the answer then. Men marry men, live a long time, women stay single and also live a long time.  :hello2: