Nightclub Dwight said:
You could always hook it up backwards then. Benefits: It would stay cleaner than if you put it in your mouth, your friends will refuse to touch it, it might get some interesting sounds after certain meals.
Joking, of course.
Additional benefit: helps achieve the legendary Eddie Van Halen "brown sound."
I'm done now.
Hehe! You guys are too funny.
Speaking of tubes up the ass, though...
A couple years ago I had pneumonia so severe that they figured I had about 24 hours to live, and actually gave me
last rites. Once they convinced one of my brothers how far gone I was and got permission to cut me up, I ended up having much of my right lung removed. You oughta see my neck and torso - looks like somebody did an autopsy with a chainsaw while somebody else stabbed me repeatedly <grin>
Anyway, amongst the many tubes and wires they brought to bear to keep me alive after Dr. Mengele had his way with me were one up my ass, one up my schwanz, and one punched into my stomach to feed me. There were many others, but for some reason those are the ones I remember. They had to keep me in restraints because even though I was drugged out of my mind, I kept trying to pull these various tubes and wires out/off. Drove the nurses nuts, because all the devices have alarms on them to let people know if something isn't working. Miserable stuff.
On the plus side, those hospital guys have the
best drugs. Between those and hypoxia, Hollywood ain't got nothing on your brain's ability to concoct wild scenarios that are so real, you'd swear to Christ and all that's holy that they actually happened <grin> I mean, it's nothing like dreams or nightmares - it's as real as real can be. Downside is, sometimes your imagination can be a cruel thing, and the terror is just heart-stopping and sweat-popping.