Paul-less said:
My problem with [stainless steel frets] is the tone issue. I've heard people swear they don't change tone, and others swear they do.
The power of suggestion is tremendous.
The reality is, there's no difference in tone. There is, however, a difference in feel. Stainless steel frets are super-smooth. You'll notice that immediately. I mean, it's tangible. No exaggeration. Even if you've never played them before, you'd know something was different the first time you picked up a guitar with stainless frets, and once you get spoiled by that, you won't want anything else.
I've been playing for 40 years or so on myriad guitars, and I can't hear a difference. I make no claim on "golden ears", but I do have very good hearing that's pretty well educated. Bit rates on digital recordings are audible to me, and I use good gear so as to not suffer inaccuracies because it bothers me. Still, I hear no change with SS frets as far as tone in general playing.
I will say this, though. It's a harder material, and that's audible if you play clean and depend on the dynamics involved with hammers/pulls/ghost notes. It's not dramatic, but there's an increased clarity to the attack of the notes, particularly with hammer-ons. The note sounds more reliably, so it almost sounds less like a like hammered note than a picked note in that it's almost as pronounced.
I don't think it's anything you need to adjust for, or anything undesirable. Quite the opposite; it makes things sound better. But, again, it's not dramatic and may just be my imagination. For all intents and purposes and for probably 95% of the players out there, you may as well say there's no difference other than they last a lot longer physically.
I know myself I'll never take nickel-steel frets again if I have a choice.