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Poker Face

Death by Uberschall

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Poker Face

Two couples were playing poker one evening. John accidentally dropped some cards on the floor. When he bent down under the table to pick them up, he noticed Bill's wife Sue wasn't wearing any underwear under her dress! Shocked by this, John upon trying to sit back up again, hit his head on the table and emerged red-faced. Later, John went to the kitchen to get some refreshments. Bill's wife followed and asked, "Did you see anything that you liked under there?" Surprised by her boldness, John courageously admitted that, well indeed he did. She said, "Well, you can have it, but it will cost you $500." After taking a minute or two to assess the financial and moral costs of this offer, John confirms that he is interested. She tells him that since her husband Bill works Friday afternoons and John doesn't, John should be at her house around 2 p.m. Friday afternoon. When Friday rolled around, John showed up at Bill's house at 2 p.m. sharp and after paying Sue the agreed sum of $500 they went to the bedroom and closed their transaction, as agreed. John quickly dressed and left. As usual, Bill came home from work at 6 p.m. and upon entering the house, asked his wife abruptly. "Did John come by the house this afternoon?" With a lump in her throat Sue answered "Why yes, he did stop by for a few minutes this afternoon." Her heart nearly skipped a beat when her husband curtly asked, "And did he give you $500?" In terror she assumed that somehow he had found out and after mustering her best poker face, replied, "Well, yes, in fact he did give me $500." Bill, with a satisfied look on his face, surprised his wife by saying, "Good, I was hoping he did. John came by the office this morning and borrowed $500 from me. He promised me he'd stop by our house this afternoon on his way home and pay me back."

:laughing7:
 
My step father, a former Golden Gloves champ from the Coney Island section of Brooklyn used to do this.... as a sailor on leave from WWII duties.

He'd go to a diner for a meal, find another soldier or maybe even just a civilian getting ready to eat alone.  He'd strike up a conversation, ask if he could eat with them, and usually they'd accept.  He'd order, chow down fast, and thank them the company, and offer to pay their fare.  Of course, they'd argue a bit, but he'd insist, and win.  At that, he'd take the meal ticket, and ask his new "friend" to give a wave, so the cashier would know he was paying for his meal too.  Up to the cashier, he'd say "that guy is gonna pay for both of us".  The "friend" would be waving..... and out ol' step dad would walk, like nothing happened.
 
=CB= said:
My step father, a former Golden Gloves champ from the Coney Island section of Brooklyn used to do this.... as a sailor on leave from WWII duties.

He'd go to a diner for a meal, find another soldier or maybe even just a civilian getting ready to eat alone.  He'd strike up a conversation, ask if he could eat with them, and usually they'd accept.  He'd order, chow down fast, and thank them the company, and offer to pay their fare.  Of course, they'd argue a bit, but he'd insist, and win.  At that, he'd take the meal ticket, and ask his new "friend" to give a wave, so the cashier would know he was paying for his meal too.  Up to the cashier, he'd say "that guy is gonna pay for both of us".  The "friend" would be waving..... and out ol' step dad would walk, like nothing happened.

Ahhh, the early version of dine & dash... 
Been there & done that when I was a poor starving hippie in the 70's  :icon_tongue:
 
=CB= said:
My step father, a former Golden Gloves champ from the Coney Island section of Brooklyn used to do this.... as a sailor on leave from WWII duties.

He'd go to a diner for a meal, find another soldier or maybe even just a civilian getting ready to eat alone.  He'd strike up a conversation, ask if he could eat with them, and usually they'd accept.  He'd order, chow down fast, and thank them the company, and offer to pay their fare.  Of course, they'd argue a bit, but he'd insist, and win.  At that, he'd take the meal ticket, and ask his new "friend" to give a wave, so the cashier would know he was paying for his meal too.  Up to the cashier, he'd say "that guy is gonna pay for both of us".  The "friend" would be waving..... and out ol' step dad would walk, like nothing happened.

Tom Waits tells an excellent version of this story as a bonus track on his Orphans collection. Very cool to hear of someone actually doing it!
 
kboman said:
=CB= said:
My step father, a former Golden Gloves champ from the Coney Island section of Brooklyn used to do this.... as a sailor on leave from WWII duties.

He'd go to a diner for a meal, find another soldier or maybe even just a civilian getting ready to eat alone.  He'd strike up a conversation, ask if he could eat with them, and usually they'd accept.  He'd order, chow down fast, and thank them the company, and offer to pay their fare.  Of course, they'd argue a bit, but he'd insist, and win.  At that, he'd take the meal ticket, and ask his new "friend" to give a wave, so the cashier would know he was paying for his meal too.  Up to the cashier, he'd say "that guy is gonna pay for both of us".  The "friend" would be waving..... and out ol' step dad would walk, like nothing happened.

Tom Waits tells an excellent version of this story as a bonus track on his Orphans collection. Very cool to hear of someone actually doing it!

Hahaha, yeah, I was searching youtube for the audio clip.  "Bye, mom!"

-Mark
 
Incredible... because he died around 1980, and it was probably 1975 when he let loose with that story.
 
=CB= said:
Incredible... because he died around 1980, and it was probably 1975 when he let loose with that story.

It's an old premise, and Tom's story is actually about a supermarket.  There is nothing new under the sun.

-Mark
 
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