I once had a pair of orange capri pants. it's a good color and they looked #dapper on me. but i'll never wear them again and it's all because of wind turbines.
i know it sounds weird, but hear me out. Everybody loves wind turbines. they're big and pure looking and symbolize renewable clean energy and environmental respronsibility. I knew a girl who once had one as a poster on her wall and when I asked her if she was into said environmental responsibility she said "no i just like them." fair enough, i guess. I've never heard some body say "god I hate wind turbines", so if my business card said "Turbine Technician" instead of "Retail Loss Prevention", i'd probably get the 'pity look' less often. the only problem is that i'd have to pretend to care about the environment.
Once, while at a bar i lied to a girl about my job, telling the fair lass I was a Turbine Technician (specializing in aero technotrons) because I was bored and thought it would be funny. After a few rounds of hard milk (I convinced the barkeep to stock it), i put my hand out to lean against the bar and it slipped and my neck hit the corner of the bar and left me unable to breathe for several minutes. after assuring her I did not need medical attention, she said she "had to get outta here" and asked for my business card. forgetting my #deception (and being mildly delirious) I handed one over and, while she stood there looking at the card and frowning, I asked her out but she said no.
and that's why I never wear my Orange Capri's and burned them in effigy . they really were fab, tho, so kudos to the Big W for another color and i'm sure it'll be a big hit.
ccasion14:
