Neck Plate Pads

[ByteFrenzy]

What was it they call those? A Lyre?

http://www.geocities.com/scalaska1/lyre1.html

 

[RexTheDog]

I've already made a small, hand made, numbered batch out of unobtainium.

Doug, can your CNC machine handle unobtainium?

Sure, bring it on...... :icon_biggrin:

I've machined some stuff from wishalloy and handwavium too... :icon_biggrin:

CNC machining unobtainum (or any other part of the guitar for that matter) actually damages the materials ability to create tone.  There are certain unscrupulous guitar manufaturers out there that would have you believe that CNC machining saves time and money and is actually a much more efficient way of mass producing guitars.  DO NOT BELIEVE THIS.  There is undebatable proof not only that CNC machining is EXTREMELY EVIL, but that it also destroys the tone producing properties of all guitar making materials.

Im am going to share with all of you the 5 simple tricks to making truely toneful instruments that guitar luthiers have known and kept sercret for hundreds of years.  All it takes is one payment of $99.95.  Go on, Become the master of your tone!!







Was that too much?  :icon_biggrin: :guitarplayer2:

 

[ByteFrenzy]

There is undebatable proof not only that CNC machining is EXTREMELY EVIL, but that it also destroys the tone producing properties of all guitar making materials.

That is precisely why I have just invented the NCN machine. It does exactly the opposite of a CNC machine. With a CNC machine you take a piece of Unobtainium or Whateverite which is too big too start with, and the machine removes the surplus, leaving just the part you want. Unfortunately, in the process it also sucks out the tone essence, leaving a toneless empty shell.

The NCN machine, on the other hand, starts with a piece of material which is SMALLER than what you want The machine ADDS material until you have exactly the desired product. Of course, in the process it also infuses the part with a healthy dose of tone essence, so any instrument built around this part will have great tone. As a side benefit, much less raw material is needed. One box of matches will easily yield fourty-eight guitar necks or thirty-six bass necks.

The most difficult step has been taken, since the NCN machine has just been invented. Of course there are still a few minor technical details to be worked out, such as exactly HOW the material will be added, but I am confident that a few years of research will easily solve this. For the benefit of all who seek good tone I ask you to send as much cash as possible so that I can perfect the NCN machine.

 

[Phrygian]

How about those felt pads for the strap buttons? 

 

[RexTheDog]

There is undebatable proof not only that CNC machining is EXTREMELY EVIL, but that it also destroys the tone producing properties of all guitar making materials.

That is precisely why I have just invented the NCN machine. It does exactly the opposite of a CNC machine. With a CNC machine you take a piece of Unobtainium or Whateverite which is too big too start with, and the machine removes the surplus, leaving just the part you want. Unfortunately, in the process it also sucks out the tone essence, leaving a toneless empty shell.

The NCN machine, on the other hand, starts with a piece of material which is SMALLER than what you want The machine ADDS material until you have exactly the desired product. Of course, in the process it also infuses the part with a healthy dose of tone essence, so any instrument built around this part will have great tone. As a side benefit, much less raw material is needed. One box of matches will easily yield fourty-eight guitar necks or thirty-six bass necks.

The most difficult step has been taken, since the NCN machine has just been invented. Of course there are still a few minor technical details to be worked out, such as exactly HOW the material will be added, but I am confident that a few years of research will easily solve this. For the benefit of all who seek good tone I ask you to send as much cash as possible so that I can perfect the NCN machine.

:laughing3:

Dont even get me started on those so called "felt pads".  Satan pads is more like it.  Everytime you so much as think about "felt pads" a respected guitar luthier dies.

 

[dbw]

How about those felt pads for the strap buttons? 

I use neoprene washers from the hardware store.  (They have better tone)

 

[Wana_make_a_guitar]

How about those felt pads for the strap buttons? 

I use neoprene washers from the hardware store.  (They have better tone)

Heh, oh sure I was so worried that the felt would soak up my high and mid make it all muddy!

 

[Super Turbo Deluxe Custom]

When I tune my guitar, I use gloves made from Albino Seasnakes and lube the tuners with Unicorn tears.  Sure it costs a little more but is worth it.  The resulting tone is amazing, it removes technique, amp and amp settings, and pickup choice from the equation.

 

[Mor Paul]

Oh, that's what the unicorn tears are for...

I lubed my nut and cleaned my pots with them. That stuff is great for tons of things. I'll need to try it in the tuners, which are made of unobtanium. They were bent, not machined or anything horrible like that.

 

[Wana_make_a_guitar]

Well I use a slide made from glass blown in the cold of Siberia, It definitely tightens up your mids and strengthens your highs.

I also sit my guitar beside a speaker blasting out the best of Gary Newman (neuman?) and place it in a bed of it's own at night to rest and the resulting tone is just outstanding.  :icon_biggrin:

 

[Mor Paul]

What kind of bed? I hope it's made of brazillian rosewood, but with alternating flame and birdseye maple slats. The mattress better be made of unicorn hair and rainbow shavings, with the pillows Keith Moon destroyed stuffed in there. Otherwise, you're just being silly.

 

[Wana_make_a_guitar]

What kind of bed? I hope it's made of brazillian rosewood, but with alternating flame and birdseye maple slats. The mattress better be made of unicorn hair and rainbow shavings, with the pillows Keith Moon destroyed stuffed in there. Otherwise, you're just being silly.

Oh, no, no, no!


This bed is made from the wood of Capitan James Cooks 'Endeavor' which happened to be the flamed koa in his own desk! This is laminated with bits of cocobolo and snakewood. And slats! My God, it has none, it's a chambered solid body bed! just so the guitar can soak up all the resonating awesomeness. the mattress is made from the hair of the endangered Tasmanian Devil. The pillows were hand made by the Queen herself and stuffed with Goose feathers blessed by Tibetan Monks.

And you thought I was Being Silly.

 

[Super Turbo Deluxe Custom]

Mine is just lined with the hopes of children and was paid for by contract killings on the homeless.

 

[Mor Paul]

Mattress made only from an *endangered* animal? You idiot! Extinct only! If you can, grind up a rock star that's died and fermented underground. My drumsticks, for example, stay on John Bonham's rotting hand holding Keith Moon's rotting hand under a diamond case. And what's the queen's blood type? If it's not O, and her mother had AB, then you've made another silly mistake. My bass strings are stacked on John Entwhistle's femur.

And STDC, good job. Anything else on there?

 

[Wana_make_a_guitar]

I only had the mattress made out of an endangered animal because soon enough it will be extinct, and by 'the Queen herself' I did not specify any queen of any country, which of course it was queen of Denmark who is Australian.  :doh:

And also in the hot weather I use a fan to cool down the guitar that blows air with a scent of cinnamon in it for that magical tone. When I play the guitar I of course play it after I have sanitized my hands 8 times and have all my sweat glands put on hold for a while.