Wow you all are inspiring me! Your creations remind me that there is hope. Some breaths are clean. I can see color amidst the pointlessness...I'm sorry...
I am the cliché of an artist crushed by the empty clacking of keys on a keyboard, beeping of the card swipe machine. I'm defeated by my own laziness, disguised as low ability, disguised as shame. My specialty is blaming smiling faces for my own inability to act. I can find falseness in their eyes and when I cannot, I imagine it; carefully hold it in the hidden places behind my smile, nursing it in my mouth, festering till the right time. I pretend to love making good people feel bad, feel doubt, feel shame...Imagine it...the useless confusion...
The turnstile unlocking is actually locking me in...every imaginable and un-imaginable aspect of my performance is measured and critiqued. I am metrics, my life digitized to prevent any actual human contact. My spine warped in scoliotic atrophy. Entwined by climbing tendrils of telephone wire.
Ridiculous
Ridiculousness.
Aww, it aint that bad. Steady work. Easy and brainless, boring and stressful. As they say at the end of Office Space, "It's work."
Anyway...Work has killed my imagination.
People like you fine artists remind me that it IS possible to make wonderful things.
Thank you. This thread made my day!