Selling It (to guitarists)

dbw

Senior member
Messages
4,531
My parents used to get Consumer Reports magazine, and I always liked reading the "Selling It" feature inside the back cover, where they'd display some of the absurd bullsh*t companies would put in their ads to sell it.  (My favorite was some sort of kitchen utensil being sold as Y2K-compatible... a spoon IIRC.)

We certainly get our share of that as the targets of guitar manufacturers' ads... thought it might be fun to have our own "Selling It" section.

Here's my first contribution... the (in)famous Kinman claim that his pups make your strings last longer.

http://www.kinman.com/html/FAQ.htm said:
47) Why do Kinmans make strings last longer?

There are two reason for this. 1) Kinman's are so dynamic and sensitive that you don't have to punish your strings in order to get the guitar to respond to your playing, so string breaking is less prevalent and they just last longer anyway. 2) Kinman's are so sensitive to tone and detail that even an old string will be sensed (or read) quite satisfactorily.

Kinmans are a unique investment worthy of your outlay because they will eventually pay for themselves.

Oh my.... nice pickups, I imagine, but this is like claiming that a brand of carburetor will make your tires last longer.

Here's another from Schaller.  Among six "key facts" about their Hannes Bridge are:

http://schaller-guitarparts.de/hp122835/Hannes-Bridge.htm said:
    1. By far the most comfortable bridge on the market.
    2. The perfect combination of sound properties of all bridge
        constructions on the market.

Good to know!  With facts like these, who needs opinions?

:laughing7: :laughing7:  :laughing7:
 

stubhead

Senior member
Messages
4,669
The Tone Pro bridges that absolutely increase sustain and improve tone by locking stuff together with multiple little parts, rather than a single piece of metal, deserve a vote. I mean, have you ever tried to raise the screw heights on a tunematic bridge at full tension? Seems to me like it's locked pretty tight... this one is repeated over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over by Schecter & every other manufacturer that's using Tone Pros to sell their product (if Korean guitar companies can afford them, they must be getting them pretty cheap :laughing7:). I admit it's nice not to have the bridge fall off when you take off the strings.

I've also been hyper-sensitized to claims about "increased string tension" ever since the thread here a while back.
Increased string tension = higher pitch, plain and simple. If you want to increase a string's tension, turn the tuning peg.... Goink.  :blob7:
 

rh

New member
Messages
2
I am the inventor and designer of the Hannes Bridge which has been licensed to Schaller Electronic. It is claimed as a fact that this bridge is the most comfortable bridge on the market. Fact or opinion? Comfortable means that it provides you with an optimally smooth and rounded surface for your picking hand. You can rest your palm on it while playing, no matter how hard you play. Try to do the same with other bridges out there and compare it to the comfort of the Hannes Bridge.

The perfect combination of sound properties. Fact or opinion. This is actually the basis for US Patent 7071398. By optimizing the structure of the bridge, you make it more efficient at transfering the energy of the strings to the guitar body. Guitar bridges work according to the laws of physics and the improvements of my bridge can be heard distinctly. Try it one day.
 

dbw

Senior member
Messages
4,531
rh, great to have you here!  Welcome! :)

Your bridge looks very nice, and I imagine it sounds good too or a great company like Schaller wouldn't sell it.  But opinions are not facts!  There are other smooth bridges out there, like Hipshot's, that are surely very comfortable.  No doubt you like yours the best... but maybe I wouldn't.  It's an opinion, you see?  As for sound... yes, of course the bridge obeys the laws of physics (as do all things).  But good tone were just a matter of physics, we wouldn't need to argue the merits of various guitar features.  Maybe your bridge provides tons of sustain, but attenuates certain frequencies.  Or maybe your bridge doesn't attenuate ANY frequencies, in which case it doesn't have any character of its own... maybe I like the tone more with certain frequencies rolled off before they get to the wood.  Tone is fundamentally a matter of opinion... you simply CANNOT say that feature X provides the BEST tone, because that's not a fact... it's an opinion!

Not saying one way or the other, I just want to say again: opinions are not facts!

I'll add that this sort of advertising doesn't do much for me.  When I see companies claim stuff like "this is the best-sounding bridge on the market", I think, well, if they can claim an opinion as a fact, they must not have any real facts to provide.  If you said something like "this bridge sounds excellent... it's got great sustain and doesn't attenuate your highs," well then you've got a claim that I can consider.  Just saying yours is the best is worse than saying nothing at all... I know YOU think it's the best (you designed the damn thing, not to mention you have an interest in seeing it sell well), but that doesn't tell me anything about how much I will like it!

Anyway.  That's just one man's OPINION.  :laughing7:

Do you work for Schaller?  Have you designed any other hardware?  Or were you just struck by inspiration to make a new type of bridge?  Thanks!
 

Shmoopie

Senior member
Messages
1,582
Which brings us to the "my mom thinks I'm special rebuttal".

Well so and so likes it so it must be the best.

My mom thinks I'm special!

If only he made that rebuttal, poor little schmoopy could stroke his ego, and prove his mom right.  :binkybaby:
 
R

RLW

Guest
> Guitar bridges work according to the laws of physics...

Thank you.

Then again, I'm pretty sure that EVERYTHING works according to the laws of physics.

 

Shmoopie

Senior member
Messages
1,582
Not dark matter, cafeteria food and stupid people.  i.e. any one who belongs to a cult, watches sports, pays attention to tv news, or most papers, follows a religion, likes the internets, believes politicians, follows politics, cynics, likes government, has a strict code of right and wrong, lives in the bible belt, uses the word grandiose, edits Wikipedia, or Googles themselves, the list goes on.


So basically anyone who will blatantly lie to themselves to make something appear to work or exist that shouldn't and couldn't.
That includes you and I.
We do it to ourselves everyday whether we realize/want to or not. I'm doing it as I type this I'm hoping that I seem intellectual, and that I won't alien you guys or myself, and that I might be able to end this on a funny note to soften any reprocutions , and you're doing it as you read this.

So yeah, marketing hype will catch up to you sooner or later, and you can't be a complete cynic, although you can try to hold onto that idea that your not being bamboozled when you actually are being bamboozled.  I do it all the time, and it helps.  :tard:


My point: Lie to yourself or live in a constant hell of not knowing real from fake, true from false, and west from up.  Truthiness?
 

GoDrex

Senior member
Messages
3,619
I can't believe the designer of that bridge came here to defend it. That is beyond nutty. :tard:
 
M

misplacedsanity

Guest
I think this is the only guitar forum I've ever been to where common sense prevails, well done everyone. Not so much you bridge designer guy.
 

NonsenseTele

Senior member
Messages
8,256
RLW said:
> Guitar bridges work according to the laws of physics...

Thank you.

Then again, I'm pretty sure that EVERYTHING works according to the laws of physics.

And double no, one unfotunately and one fortunately...
UN: The physics doesn't explain ALL things and won't probably to it never... At the most it says that under THAT situation the thing is work at this way... if you take the context away, it works completely different...
Fortunately: There is some girls that refuses to obey physics laws, and that is good  :laughing7:
 

dbw

Senior member
Messages
4,531
misplacedsanity said:
I think this is the only guitar forum I've ever been to where common sense prevails, well done everyone. Not so much you bridge designer guy.

This made my day.  :)
 
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8,318
stubhead said:
The Tone Pro bridges that absolutely increase sustain and improve tone by locking stuff together with multiple little parts, rather than a single piece of metal, deserve a vote. I mean, have you ever tried to raise the screw heights on a tunematic bridge at full tension? Seems to me like it's locked pretty tight... this one is repeated over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over by Schecter & every other manufacturer that's using Tone Pros to sell their product (if Korean guitar companies can afford them, they must be getting them pretty cheap :laughing7:). I admit it's nice not to have the bridge fall off when you take off the strings.

I've also been hyper-sensitized to claims about "increased string tension" ever since the thread here a while back.
Increased string tension = higher pitch, plain and simple. If you want to increase a string's tension, turn the tuning peg.... Goink.  :blob7:

The new LP Standard comes equipped with the Tone Pros TOM now too, and that's their reasoning.  I think the neatest thing about is it doesn't fall off when you're changing strings.  Sorry to have been a contributor to your Hyper-Sensitizing about string tension differing with bridge type and headstock orientation.
 

SrDeMaFp

Senior member
Messages
388
misplacedsanity said:
I think this is the only guitar forum I've ever been to where common sense prevails, well done everyone. Not so much you bridge designer guy.

Fuggin' A! :icon_thumright:
 

dbw

Senior member
Messages
4,531
Super Turbo Deluxe Custom said:
I think the neatest thing about is it doesn't fall off when you're changing strings.

Meh.  I change mine one at a time anyway, unless I want to clean the fretboard, which is only every few months.
 
Messages
8,318
dbw said:
Super Turbo Deluxe Custom said:
I think the neatest thing about is it doesn't fall off when you're changing strings.

Meh.  I change mine one at a time anyway, unless I want to clean the fretboard, which is only every few months.

I like to clean the fretboard and get a soft paintbrush to get the dust out from everywhere.  The only time I ever changed them one at a time, or left one on, was with the TOM bridge and Stop Bar.  Simply because it fell off.
 
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