There used to be a time when I was almost part of the forumcode itself here; I read everything and commented on nearly everything too. Those times are behind me for the better part, partly because I have little to tell; I love to read though, but having to say with every build or update 'I soooo luv that' get's a bit old. There are other reasons though, why I'm not here as often as I used to be. I don't just comment less, I read a lot less too, and perhaps miss a lot in the process. I just wanted you guys to give a heads up on what went on in '11.
The year of our Lord 2011 (oh god am I getting some faith, or is it the late hour + classical music on speakers talking?!) was my 'annus horribilis'. The year started all alone, and ended just the same way, though with a slight change. On 1 january '11 my girlfriend felt the need to leave me at home and go out to have a party. I'm dreadfully afraid of fireworks and usually don't go outside if it's not necessary until 2 january, or when the cleaning company has cleaned away all the old firework debris. By leaving she knowingly left me alone. She went out to party on my birthday, she went out to party on my mum's birthday; she was invited for a b-day dinner at my mum's place, she and I went, but she rushed through the dinner, stuffing herself as fast as possible just to get out. My mother's birthday is also the anniversary of the death of my best friend, and she know's that. Yet, she felt compelled to go out on a party. Despite her uncanny actions I wanted to give the relationship a go.
In november '11 she just couldn't take it, and broke up with me. That is fucked up, we have all experienced that before, but in our case it's a bit more complicated. My home, to which I've moved to be with HER in the first place, to be in her town, to live together with her, is very close to her parent's home and she wants to grow old here. The renting contract is on my name, though, and she wants to force me out of this house; my house. She disagrees and claims it's her house just as much as it is mine. Well, if that's the case why should I be the one moving?
So she had her parents barge in my home, have them verbally abuse me, and force me to sign a contract in which she will be also part owner. I haven't signed that piece of garbage. yet. They promise(d) to go and search for a house for me, with the same parameters as my current place (i.e.: same price, same amount of space, same kind of area in the city). I don't mind moving, I want to get rid of her, but I mind their mindset and attitude. Everything has become my fault and to push it even farther, she has lied about her grounds on dumping me to her parents and friends. No, I did not cheat, though she tells her friends that casually. No I did not hit her cat or mine for that matter, but she tells people I did so anyway. She read some of my emails, texts and chatlogs to concoct up a 'truth'. I don't know how it's done in the USA, but here we have a law called 'secrecy of letters'. No person is allowed to open mail, analog or digital, without the expressed approval of the addressee. She opened my letters and read my digital mail without my permission. Her argumentation was that since she lived in my place she had that right; no, she doesn't.
Playing guitar became a way of letting it all go. The moment she discovered that she became a b*tch about playing guitar, too. Too loud, too noisy, too metally, too jazzy, too rocky. I went to conservatory for classical singing, yet she claims my singing is bad anyway. Thats like a contradition in terms, even so because she just can't duplicate or hold a pitch herself. I have met a nice girl who has practically the same mindset as I do when it comes to music, literature, culture, arts... My ex-gf is making 'our' lives a living hell. Despite the fact that she and I aren't together (yet) and are just enjoying eachother's company, my ex is making my life a living hell.
So, now you know thats why I haven't been here as much as I used to.
The year of our Lord 2011 (oh god am I getting some faith, or is it the late hour + classical music on speakers talking?!) was my 'annus horribilis'. The year started all alone, and ended just the same way, though with a slight change. On 1 january '11 my girlfriend felt the need to leave me at home and go out to have a party. I'm dreadfully afraid of fireworks and usually don't go outside if it's not necessary until 2 january, or when the cleaning company has cleaned away all the old firework debris. By leaving she knowingly left me alone. She went out to party on my birthday, she went out to party on my mum's birthday; she was invited for a b-day dinner at my mum's place, she and I went, but she rushed through the dinner, stuffing herself as fast as possible just to get out. My mother's birthday is also the anniversary of the death of my best friend, and she know's that. Yet, she felt compelled to go out on a party. Despite her uncanny actions I wanted to give the relationship a go.
In november '11 she just couldn't take it, and broke up with me. That is fucked up, we have all experienced that before, but in our case it's a bit more complicated. My home, to which I've moved to be with HER in the first place, to be in her town, to live together with her, is very close to her parent's home and she wants to grow old here. The renting contract is on my name, though, and she wants to force me out of this house; my house. She disagrees and claims it's her house just as much as it is mine. Well, if that's the case why should I be the one moving?
So she had her parents barge in my home, have them verbally abuse me, and force me to sign a contract in which she will be also part owner. I haven't signed that piece of garbage. yet. They promise(d) to go and search for a house for me, with the same parameters as my current place (i.e.: same price, same amount of space, same kind of area in the city). I don't mind moving, I want to get rid of her, but I mind their mindset and attitude. Everything has become my fault and to push it even farther, she has lied about her grounds on dumping me to her parents and friends. No, I did not cheat, though she tells her friends that casually. No I did not hit her cat or mine for that matter, but she tells people I did so anyway. She read some of my emails, texts and chatlogs to concoct up a 'truth'. I don't know how it's done in the USA, but here we have a law called 'secrecy of letters'. No person is allowed to open mail, analog or digital, without the expressed approval of the addressee. She opened my letters and read my digital mail without my permission. Her argumentation was that since she lived in my place she had that right; no, she doesn't.
Playing guitar became a way of letting it all go. The moment she discovered that she became a b*tch about playing guitar, too. Too loud, too noisy, too metally, too jazzy, too rocky. I went to conservatory for classical singing, yet she claims my singing is bad anyway. Thats like a contradition in terms, even so because she just can't duplicate or hold a pitch herself. I have met a nice girl who has practically the same mindset as I do when it comes to music, literature, culture, arts... My ex-gf is making 'our' lives a living hell. Despite the fact that she and I aren't together (yet) and are just enjoying eachother's company, my ex is making my life a living hell.
So, now you know thats why I haven't been here as much as I used to.