Its a little weird, I've actually become pretty good friends with a musician from one of my favorite bands. I'd prefer to not say who it is, as we are friends, and I hate to write anything that could jeopardize the relationship we've developed.
Back in the old days my brother was a touring musician, and his band often played with this particular musician before he joined the big band that would propel him to semi-stardom. Anyhow, based on my brother knowing him, I approached him at a show several years ago and introduced myself. He couldn't have been nicer, asking about my brother's current projects and such. Anyhow, we hung out, had a few beers, and we'd catch up other whenever I caught one of their shows.
By chance, at the end of one of their tours, the semi-famous musician mentioned that he needed to get to Boston instead of going back with the band to New York because he was playing a show with some other people up there. At the time I had a company car, company gas card, and a lot of freedom to make my own schedule, so I offered to drive him from Philadelphia to Boston.
We set it up a few weeks in advance, and sure enough on the day in question I was guest listed at the venue, and he called me to tell me where to park for free. After the show they loaded some of his equipment right into my car and we took off. That first night we actually ended up sharing a hotel room, splitting a six pack of ciders. Not very rock and roll, but still pretty thrilling for me.
The next day we drove to Boston. At one point at a rest area on the Merritt Parkway some fans recognized him and came over and talked to us. They thought I was in the band too, and asked "which one are you?" I told them "I'm Bryan," and that was good enough for them, they wanted my autograph too. It was a funny moment we shared, looking at each other with that "WTF?" expression of amusement.
One of the things he told me on that trip was that it was both cool and weird meeting fans. It is cool because no matter what city they are in, there are people who want to party with them, have fun, etc etc. So, in essence you're never a stranger in a strange town. But it was weird because half the time most people just come up and say "I really love your music." To which the musician said he always wants to say, "Thanks, I think its really cool too....thats why I went through all this trouble to make a whole album of it."
Of course, my friend is very gracious and does not respond like that to fans, but he did admit that he is sometimes at a loss when people say that.
For the two days we spent together we mostly talked about regular stuff. Like baseball (he's a Red Sox fan, I'm a Yankees fan), food (he is a vegetarian, I am not), politics, art, whatever. I did ask him questions about the band, but I was very cautious, and would only ask if he brought up something related. In the end he spoke freely about the band--stuff I probably shouldn't have been hearing--but we talked about it because I was respectful and polite about it, and only asked about the band in appropriate moments.
To this day we remain friendly. He say's that he owes me one for doing that favor years ago. I have never called in that favor, because I like keeping it in reserve just in case.
From my experience, I learned that musicians are just regular people like anyone else. When you have the chance to strike up a conversation after a show or at a random meeting, I think its best to try and bring up something interesting to talk about. Heck, even if you just ask whether they liked the venue, or if they've had a chance to get anything decent to eat in your city yet (you might end up taking them out for late night sandwiches, so have a plan if you ask about food.)
Its tough to get close to huge stars, but there are plenty of musicians out there who are heroes to some of us, but who haven't yet broken into the top mainstream echelons. These musicians can be wonderfully approachable after shows. Very often you can even drink or eat with them afterwards if you just ask what they're up to. My general rule of thumb is to speak to musicians if I have something to say, but if I really don't have anything intelligent I'll usually just thank them for a great show and keep moving.
In any case, it sure is a rush to meet someone whose music is so important to you.
