Funny descriptions

spauldingrules

Senior member
Messages
720
I love the descriptions for some of the bodies, esp.:

http://warmoth.com/showcase/sc_guitar_bodies.cfm?type=guitar&itemNumber=LPCP94&menuItem=4&subMenuItem=0&subMenuItem2=0

Incredible Magenta Burst Top with Natural Masked Binding and lip over! Excellent Flame Maple Figuring on top of Thunder-tone Mahogany!

"Thunder-tone mahogany"!!  Mahogany is my favorite wood, but this body could alternatively be:

"Girly purple Gibson knockoff with unpainted edge.  Irregular figuring on common maple on top of dead sounding and heavy mahogany!"

Besides my Mahog warmoth strat, this would be my ideal wood combo, so I'm not knocking it (well, the color a little bit :) ), I just amused myself by having a negative description to a nice guitar.  I'm easily amused.

Any others?
 

chuck7

Senior member
Messages
319
http://www.warmoth.com/showcase/sc_guitar_bodies.cfm?type=guitar&start=1&itemNumber=LPCP157&menuItem=4&subMenuItem=0&subMenuItem2=0

"When we milled the top the damned thing developed a big ugly spot in the middle, so we painted it.  We left the edge showing so we could still sell it for a AAAAA Flame Price!"

:D
 

kataar

Senior member
Messages
252
I kinda find it ironic that that first LP has a TOM rout, but the neck linked from it has a locking nut shelf  :doh:
 

tfarny

Senior member
Messages
4,481
http://www.warmoth.com/showcase/sc_guitar_bodies.cfm?itemNumber=PS1831&type=guitar

Lovely spring colors on this fresh-scented beauty! New "Car Air Freshener Burst!" on common alder! Strip this one down and start again for a great-looking guitar!!!!
 
R

RLW

Guest
tfarny said:
http://www.warmoth.com/showcase/sc_guitar_bodies.cfm?itemNumber=PS1831&type=guitar

Lovely spring colors on this fresh-scented beauty! New "Car Air Freshener Burst!" on common alder! Strip this one down and start again for a great-looking guitar!!!!

That body is like playing left field with a Day-Glo Paisley glove. You'd better be REALLY good, otherwise you're going to look REALLY lame.
 

dbw

Senior member
Messages
4,531
http://warmoth.com/showcase/sc_guitar_bodies.cfm?type=guitar&start=1&itemNumber=SLP75&menuItem=8&subMenuItem=0&subMenuItem2=0

Wood only a connoisseur could appreciate; routs only a metalhead could use!  Perfect for the confused, aging, hair-metal guitarist!

http://warmoth.com/showcase/sc_guitar_bodies.cfm?type=guitar&start=1&itemNumber=LPCP156&menuItem=4&subMenuItem=0&subMenuItem2=0

WOW!  All rosewood LP-- empty your bank account for this boat anchor!  You may also like [link to hernia surgeon].

http://www.warmoth.com/showcase/sc_guitar_necks.cfm?type=bass&start=1&menuItem=1&itemNumber=BN1371&subMenuItem=0&subMenuItem2=0

Hey righties, flip this one over for that sought-after Geddy-Lee-meets-Hendrix look!  Please, someone!  We've been trying to get rid of this thing for ages!

http://www.warmoth.com/showcase/sc_guitar_bodies.cfm?type=bass&start=1&itemNumber=BP345&menuItem=2&subMenuItem=0&subMenuItem2=0

Disgusting Antigua Burst finish harks back to the time of wide lapels and avocado-and-orange decor!  Unleash your inner Bee Gee!
 
R

RLW

Guest
I've lived in both Kansas and Oklahoma, Antigua always reminds me of the color the sky gets right before a tornado forms. Bad vibes.
 
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