Build the oddest/most unworkable/ worst sounding/ugliest guitar

[hannaugh]

Take that body and give it to Mr. DeVries so he can fit it with a "Rhythm in Jump. Dancing close to you!" Floyd style trem, add one of those insanely overdone dragon inlayed fretboards and throw in a painting of a stripper on the headstock (remember that guitar from ebay?).  I think every one of us here would vomit on the spot. 

 

[line6man]

The bass version:

Agathis Thunderbird body, hollow with F holes.
Beige finish with competition stripes and binding of any kind.
Darkstar pickups.
250K audio taper pots, with a really shitety taper.
0.1uF capacitors.
Two tone controls and no pickup selector switch. (They will interact that way.)
$50 9V preamp with very little headroom.
Skirted knobs like on the old Fender amps.
Ebony bridge.

Indian Rosewood neck (Apparently Mahogany is not available on bass necks, so IR is the next warmest wood.) with a satin finish over the nice raw wood.
Maple fretboard.
No inlays.
Frets. (*shudders :sad
The largest sized frets.
"V" headstock.
Big heavy tuners. (Again, POS Squier tuners mounted crookedly, and the hardware mismatching.)
POS plastic nut.

Eyelet bolt strap buttons, with strap duct taped to the body.

Edit:
Throw a guitar pickup with very bad string alignment between the two Darkstars...

 

[AprioriMark]

**This space reserved for a guitar I actually own/built**

(I'll post pics when I get home tonight)

-Mark

 

[OzziePete]

My nightmare guitar has already been made!

 

[AprioriMark]

From the guitars I'm working on thread:

Pure. Effing.  Own.

-Mark

 

[Mor Paul]

My nightmare guitar...
is called the 'Yer Momcaster

 

[jay4321]

there are some pretty horrible examples in the warmoth 'miscellaneous customer guitars' section

this particular one is made out of concrete:

Yes but does it have poly or nitro for a finish?

 

[-CB-]

A long time ago, there was a company offering toilet seats shaped like guitars.  They called 'em "Jammin' Jons".  SG, LP, Martin, Tele, Strat, etc.

I saw that and said to myself, "Self, why cant you make a toilet seat into a guitar?".

And so I did.

Behold, the Toiletcaster, along with some amps I made, notably one really fine 2x10 Bassman that rocks.  Mr. Mouser looks on (as always).

 

[-CB-]

I remember seeing one of those Peptocasters on TV, the Elvis Presley Hawaii concert (Aloha from Hawaii).  I'm guessing it was James Burton on the Pink Paisley Telecaster.  I was just beginning to play and the next day, the talk of the musicians was THAT guitar.  Whew... it still creeps me out.

 

[Schlieren]

From the guitars I'm working on thread:

Pure. Effing.  Own.

-Mark

uhh i kinda like that guitar  :toothy11:

must be the undying mid-90s suburban punk rocker in me  :help:

 

[mullyman]

This has to be able to fit in here somehow....

 

[erogenousjones17]

I've never understood the whole "guitars shaped like stuff" thing. Like these guys, for instance: http://www.illusionguitars.com/