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Toilet paper ads

No s**t, I was in Walmart tonite and some lady was bringing back 3 carts FULL of toilet paper.... so I started in on my little rant.

Today at work, we designed the ulitmate "guys" toilet paper.  Its a two layer affair, the first layer is texturized and starched, to resemble a flexible paper "cheeze grater".  The other layer is a backing later, so the dingleberries and such dont get all over ya while they pass thru the holes in the cheeze crater top later.  Yes, its got a good side and a bad side.  And the textured side is directional... for maximum "scrape".

Moi - folded, out, cheap, white, and thats it.

Remember the rough paper that used to be like cigarette rolling paper - that they passed off as toilet paper in public rest rooms back in the day?  Now THAT stuff was grade Z terrible.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v214/bandersnatchreverb/badgersbutt.jpg
 
=CB= said:
No s**t, I was in Walmart tonite and some lady was bringing back 3 carts FULL of toilet paper.... so I started in on my little rant.

Today at work, we designed the ulitmate "guys" toilet paper.  Its a two layer affair, the first layer is texturized and starched, to resemble a flexible paper "cheeze grater".  The other layer is a backing later, so the dingleberries and such dont get all over ya while they pass thru the holes in the cheeze crater top later.  Yes, its got a good side and a bad side.  And the textured side is directional... for maximum "scrape".

Moi - folded, out, cheap, white, and thats it.

Remember the rough paper that used to be like cigarette rolling paper - that they passed off as toilet paper in public rest rooms back in the day?  Now THAT stuff was grade Z terrible.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v214/bandersnatchreverb/badgersbutt.jpg
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:hello2:  :toothy12:
that link is fantastic.
 
Big V - AKA "The other guy from Norway" said:
I vary between more methods.

I prefer strong TP which is soft, and I like it absorbent, yeh :toothy11:
I like those japanese toilets that do al the work for you :headbang:
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ive been to japan. most toilets are porcelain holes on the floor that you squat over.

but occasionally if you find a handycapped rest room it will have a western style toilet with a heated seat and maybe a built in music player! ive even seen automatic disinfectant dispensers. but i havent seen any with a built in bidet which is a french word and a device that washes your unmentionables. though if a toilet exists with a bidet im sure you can find it in japan.

i have heard all the female bathrooms have western toilets and little music boxes that play midi type music files to over power the sound of a woman taking a tinkle. apparently that would be improper even for another woman to hear, but i wouldnt know. i didnt go into female public restrooms.
 
One of my best friends lived in Japan for 2 years.  She told me a lot of the public bathrooms play music and have voices that talks to you when you go into the stall, and sometimes there is actually recorded applause that plays when you flush the toilet. 
 
Sounds like they're training puppies or something. "Good girl! Yes! You did a Good Thing, didn't you? Yes! Such a good girl! C'mon! Let's go get a treat!" <grin>
 
Cagey said:
Sounds like they're training puppies or something. "Good girl! Yes! You did a Good Thing, didn't you? Yes! Such a good girl! C'mon! Let's go get a treat!" <grin>
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Yeah, my friend always thought it was stupid. 
 
hannaugh said:
One of my best friends lived in Japan for 2 years.  She told me a lot of the public bathrooms play music and have voices that talks to you when you go into the stall, and sometimes there is actually recorded applause that plays when you flush the toilet.  
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They should play loud noises to scare the shit out of you.

...Or at least have toilets that wash it out of you. :tard: :tard:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=51vtQLydDxs
 
=CB= said:
Toilet paper is marketed as being "absorbent". Why? Turds don't soak into toilet paper. And once in the bowl, absorbent doesn't really matter any more, does it? I figure it must be because ladies buy a lot of toilet paper, and they're always blotting their coochies with it after they pee, thus want absorbency.
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Some of the times I've needed it most, I've needed it to be absorbent.
 
Back when we were kids, my family took my brother and I to a fancy New York City restaurant for some special occasion.  My brother came out of the restroom, amazed that there was an attendant working back there giving out cologne, towels and what have you.

Upon returning to the table my brother announced that he had found his calling and that he wanted to be a restroom attendant when he grows up.  Of course my parents were half amused, half horrified.

He ended up being a professional musician.  I think they're still half amused, half horrified.  Makes me look good!  :eek:ccasion14:
 
I think for the purpose of the ads, "absorbent" is just the best word to use, even if they don't mean absorbent.  If you think absorbency isn't necessary, think of the opposite.  Nonabsorbent.  That would be like using magazine paper.  It brings new meaning to the words, "smear campaign."
 
Well CB was circling the bowl with this one here:
Include a beer with every 24 rolls of TP and you'd have guys flocking to dump, just to be able to justify more TP.  Then, if that beer was a Killians Red.... an endless cycle of repeat customers!
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but it's just a matter of fine-tuning the ratio: include 24 beers with every roll of TP and guys would be grabbing the list out of wifie's hand and racing to the store.
 
hannaugh said:
BTW, chicks do need absorbency.  It's pretty crucial.  I guess if you're a dude, you might need it if you're having explosive diarrhea?  :dontknow:  Oddly enough, I use tp to blot watercolor when I paint, and certain levels of absorbency are desirable for different effects.  
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Hannaugh, I've never quite heard it described as "watercolor" before.  I'll pass it along to my GF.... she just calls it Rob, and will probably lambaste me in her native UK English till my buccaneers turn red.

 
Super Turbo Deluxe Custom said:
It's amazing what you can do when you don't embarass easily.
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you've pretty much described my life.  :icon_thumright: and yes, it IS amazing  :toothy12:

it drives all the people around me crazy!
 
hannaugh said:
You're silly, CB. 
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TY, Ma'am! !!!!!!

Hey, somebody's gotta entertain the troops, right?  Hehehehe...... I'll be back to lacquer fumes as soon as the weather breaks!~

Anyway, this whole thread is silly... and rightfully so.  Winter madness takes its toll (currently, still only 25cents)
 
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