Going for it. How many risks have you got left in you?

[fdesalvo]

Music has always been a part time thing in my life.  Despite that, it stopped me from chewing on the barrel of my dad's gun when I was a teen, got me to CA during hurricane Katrina, allowed me to go around the earth with my warmoth axes 5 times, and was responsible for 2 lost jobs and as many long term relationships.  All to its credit.  :icon_biggrin:

I'm between consulting engagements.  10 years of this under my belt and it's been great income, but I am not living.  I'm paying the bills, buying things I don't need, and remaining numb to the sand escaping the upper half of the glass.  I've just realized that I've only got a few (recoverable) risks left in me.  The last time I took one was escaping Katrina to chase down music in Los Angeles.  I've watched my bandmates move on with their lives, settling into expanding families and responsibilities.  I've been strapped to this ride with them.  I can keep my band on the back burner, but I have to move forward with the reason why I came out here.

I have been on fire these past few months; at the very core of my soul an unquenchable fire has been burning, forcing me to reckon with my future and current disposition.  In the decade I've spent out here, I've lost 4 pillars of my family and my parents are in the big seats now riding the front row on their ways out.  And I'm out here burning the candle at both ends gaining no ground with respect to my dreams, conceding to the joy of creating music itself, but never really breaking through.
 
This is not a pity party - I've never been more focused or motivated.  Everything I've done and every choice I've made has brought me to where I am and I'm grateful! It's time to get on with it and fully commit.  I am gunning for a life sustained by music - soundtracks, audio design, you name it.  I have no choice!  I cannot go back into another corporate role and push this to the back burner.  It's stealing my joy!

Maybe this is a pointless post, but I'm throwing it out there.  I've seen so many people on the verge of breaking through, only to give up.  How many risks do you have left in you?  Are you going for it?

 

[Cagey]

Of course, the answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe, and Everything is 42.

 

[Verne Bunsen]

That parallels a line of thought I often find myself pondering. The few regrets that I find myself carrying around are not over things I did, but rather over things I DIDN'T do. Not taking my music seriously at a time when I had no conflicting obligations. Opportunities that I passed up. Decisions that made themselves because I didn't act. Ultimately, every fork in the road has brought me to where I am today and I wouldn't change any of it, but one still wonders on the What-If's.

 

[Glimmer]

Regretfully, my "serious" music days are most likely behind me for good. I'm talking about the days of playing in a couple bands simultaneously, rehearing several times a week, gigging regularly, recording sporadically, even having the occasional LP out on a respected label (SST) and once in a while hearing songs I'd written or played on on the radio. After 20 years of that, I put down my instrument and walked away from it in order to do other things. Didn't pick one up or even think about it for some 8 years, at which point I bought my first acoustic guitar and started easing back into playing...

During all that time I stayed in school, got a degree, and wound up with a job that doesn't pay very well for the work it took to get it, but that does leave me time for other pursuits: writing, for quite a while photography, and for the past 10 years or so, music again. Of all the folks I knew/hung out with/played with, only one has "made it" (Nels Cline). The others have either faded away, are still doing the same thing (experimental stuff of one stripe or another, free jazz, etc.), have dropped out of it completely and/or are alcoholics or dead.

While I really miss playing with other, like-minded musicians, I seriously doubt I'd be willing to go back to a lifestyle which would require me to abandon most everything else for playing, and for playing pretty much the same type of stuff and in the same type of venues and conditions as in the ’70s–’90s. It would be too much of a "been there done that" for me to want to embark on it again, sadly. So, to answer your question fdesalvo: I don't have many risks in me, maybe none at all. It doesn't keep me from playing, though (but I do occasionally wonder: why am I still doing so, since I'm not trying to make anything of it?, and I don't have an answer to that question beyond: I still enjoy it.)

If the right situation were to present itself, and I could find players I'd want to work with on projects I'd be excited to be involved in, I would definitely consider it long and hard. But I wouldn't be willing to give up other activities that give me pleasure. I'd have to be able to "have it all" (who wouldn't want that? :icon_biggrin: )

 

[fdesalvo]

You cats are great. I sure wish we had a "like" button here.

 

[stratamania]

I wish you well with whatever direction you decide to travel.

The problem with a lot of the corporate stuff these days is the lack of time it creates, and if you add on commutes etc it eats away at time. Perhaps a work / life balance change for a lot would suffice.

Someone mentioned a quote in the Prince thread. I'm going to change it and say...

If you are not busy being born, be busy living or life will live you. 

 

[fdesalvo]

Thank u and yes indeed.

All I know is that the jewel at the end of my 18 hour day of marketing and promoting is a Twitter like by Gordon lightfoot. Lol!  I have earned my sleep!  Now, if I can only make it onto the next 007 soundtrack.  arty07:

 

[Logrinn]

All of the replies and advice from Cagey, Verne Bunsen and Glimmer are great and I feel that I too can relate to them (especially 42 - that really IS the answer to it all). But I can also relate to your post, your urge to do that which gives you the most joy.
I would very much like to say: "Go for it! Take the plunge!" but I know that I don't  and probably wont do it myself. You see, I'm in a similar position myself. Getting older and thinking back to that life involving music that almost, but not quite, happened. There might be one big difference though. I now have a great job that I love, so I'm in no hurry to quit that and try my hands on music and trying to make a living solely from that.
But at the same time - or maybe because of this - I can now focus more on my music, on a hobby level. I know I won't (and are no longer interested in) be standing on stage or tour. But I can try my hands on recording. Post stuff online. I now have an opportunity never before possible to reach so many more people, that were impossible to do before.

You can listen to all our advice, but in the end of it you need to do that which is best for you. And one usually know what that is. Deep down inside.

Whatever you decide, I wish you all the best.  :rock-on:

 

[Axkoa]

I can definitely relate to you. As a student in my final year of High School I don't think there is any time as important as right now for me. I essentially have to pick what I want to do for the rest of my life this year, something that can reasonably support me financially for my entire life. Even though it doesn't relate to music in general the idea is pretty much the same for me - Games Programming is probably the one thing that if I could do it without having to worry about money, I would.

But there is pretty much no way that I could go into a career in Games Programming without a lot of luck and a lot of skill. That's why I'm considering doing a teaching degree after a games degree at University, just so I'm able to have something to back up against if Games Programming doesn't work out for me.

I think this sort of works the same way that your situation does. My advice probably isn't the best, but do what you want. If you want to write music, do it. It isn't the end of the line for you if writing and arranging music doesn't end up the future for you. You will still have that same experience that you have with you right now. Just that you would be a lot happier after working with music.

Still, the choice is definitely yours, and I am by no means and experienced adviser. Just my two cents on the topic.

 

[Timmsie95]

I can definitely relate to you. As a student in my final year of High School I don't think there is any time as important as right now for me. I essentially have to pick what I want to do for the rest of my life this year, something that can reasonably support me financially for my entire life. Even though it doesn't relate to music in general the idea is pretty much the same for me - Games Programming is probably the one thing that if I could do it without having to worry about money, I would.

But there is pretty much no way that I could go into a career in Games Programming without a lot of luck and a lot of skill. That's why I'm considering doing a teaching degree after a games degree at University, just so I'm able to have something to back up against if Games Programming doesn't work out for me.

I think this sort of works the same way that your situation does. My advice probably isn't the best, but do what you want. If you want to write music, do it. It isn't the end of the line for you if writing and arranging music doesn't end up the future for you. You will still have that same experience that you have with you right now. Just that you would be a lot happier after working with music.

Still, the choice is definitely yours, and I am by no means and experienced adviser. Just my two cents on the topic.

This is very true, but keep in mind, no matter what your guidance councillor and your teachers tell you, it's never too late to make a huge change in careers. My dad had a fine arts, illustration, and graphic design degree. He lived life up until his mid 20's thinking he would never do anything different. He has worked for Ripley's, he's done ads for Moosehead (beer), Kodiak (winter boots), and so many other things that I can't count. It all seemed to be perfect for him. But 30 years later, he's a scuba diving instructor, working full time at a dive shop. So if you wake up one day and think "this isn't right", don't be afraid to change your life.

 

[mayfly]

I would say that it's less about risk and more about informed choice.  I chose long ago to pursue an engineering degree instead of that music degree because all the musicians I liked and respected all had day jobs somewhere - some of them pretty sucky day jobs.  I just thought "Well, if I need a job to do this, I should make it a GOOD job.  At least I'll have money for gear".  This worked out very well; my personal life and career are in a good spot, and I'm about to release probably the finest LP that I've ever done.  On vinyl no less!  Now - if the album were to chart well, would I go out on tour to support it?  Probably not.  Being on tour at my level means playing in a lot of empty rooms for no money and being away from my family.  I choose not to do that, because it sounds like it sucks. 

So I'm at home doing local gigs, rehearsing once a week, and writing/recording.  And flinging those record out from behind the curtain and seeing where they land.  That makes me less of a musician and more of a part time artist.  But that's ok.  Works with the choices I've made.

 

[swarfrat]

I choose not to do that, because it sounds like it sucks. 

So I'm at home doing local gigs, rehearsing once a week, and writing/recording.  And flinging those record out from behind the curtain and seeing where they land.  That makes me less of a musician and more of a part time artist.  But that's ok.  Works with the choices I've made.

^--- this. I'm guessing that in order to live working middle class, as a musician you pretty much need to be nationally known. The truly scary part of trying to eat off music is not when you're 20-30 and have a dream, it's when you're 50, 60, and even older, and have no way out. cause you don't know how to do anything else. Even if you do get a hit on the radio....will it feed you in 20, 30, 40 years?

Add to all that, the pool I want to play in is vastly smaller. I think even legacy acts are probably only pulling in what most would consider "upper middle class", and that's for people who have been on the charts 20 years. (I'm more than fine with that level of income, it's just the thought of banking on being nationally famous to get there that scares me)

 

[fdesalvo]

Your dad went from awesome to super awesome. You're basically telling us he morphed into Scuba Steve??  :headbang1:


You youngins!  Get outta here!  Haha if I could go back I'd heed only a few pieces of advice I was given. Mainly this- go 110% into everything you do, be it family or your passions. Don't let others fears or insecurities obstruct.

I can definitely relate to you. As a student in my final year of High School I don't think there is any time as important as right now for me. I essentially have to pick what I want to do for the rest of my life this year, something that can reasonably support me financially for my entire life. Even though it doesn't relate to music in general the idea is pretty much the same for me - Games Programming is probably the one thing that if I could do it without having to worry about money, I would.

But there is pretty much no way that I could go into a career in Games Programming without a lot of luck and a lot of skill. That's why I'm considering doing a teaching degree after a games degree at University, just so I'm able to have something to back up against if Games Programming doesn't work out for me.

I think this sort of works the same way that your situation does. My advice probably isn't the best, but do what you want. If you want to write music, do it. It isn't the end of the line for you if writing and arranging music doesn't end up the future for you. You will still have that same experience that you have with you right now. Just that you would be a lot happier after working with music.

Still, the choice is definitely yours, and I am by no means and experienced adviser. Just my two cents on the topic.

This is very true, but keep in mind, no matter what your guidance councillor and your teachers tell you, it's never too late to make a huge change in careers. My dad had a fine arts, illustration, and graphic design degree. He lived life up until his mid 20's thinking he would never do anything different. He has worked for Ripley's, he's done ads for Moosehead (beer), Kodiak (winter boots), and so many other things that I can't count. It all seemed to be perfect for him. But 30 years later, he's a scuba diving instructor, working full time at a dive shop. So if you wake up one day and think "this isn't right", don't be afraid to change your life.

 

[Glimmer]

...if I could go back I'd heed only a few pieces of advice I was given. Mainly this- go 110% into everything you do, be it family or your passions. Don't let others fears or insecurities obstruct.

I think this is the ultimate thing, and exactly what I did. The problem is you wind up with multiples of 110% commitment of time/money/energy, etc. At some point something's got to give. In my case, in the end, it was music. That said, I did everything I had wanted (i.e. was willing) to do, and though I would have loved to get to a place where I had a label ready to put out my work and actually promote and support it, I well knew that the music I was making had little to no commercial potential, and thus that it was unlikely that such a thing was ever going to happen. Had nothing to do with fear or insecurity, just the realization that I didn't want to grow old in poverty, which seemed a likely outcome (and the actual case of many from my former musical circles). All in all, I played professionally for 20 years but never made a living at it and knew that I never would. Always had other and for the most part menial jobs. When I wanted more, I took more demanding work and needed to make space for that and so stopped playing.

Rereading your original post I think you ought to go for it. You sound like you're dying to do so, and maybe even have a bit of money saved up. At any rate it sounds like if you don't you'll deeply regret it. I certainly wish you success if you do!

 

[fdesalvo]

Preach it brother. Yeah the key really is balance. Something I lack.

I've decided to do it. All or nothing. I'm going to extend the 007 theme I wrote into other moods and instrumentation so it flows. Will create my own score. And take it from there.

Love you guys. So much knowledge and maturity here.

 

[Volitions Advocate]

Oh how this all rings so very true, and you know I get a lot of push back too.

I didn't go for the engineering degree (or the computer science degree) like Mayfly did.  I went for the music degree, and let me tell you a BA in music is mostly worthless, although it might land you an office job instead of toiling in the dirt like I used to.  I'm currently working on my Masters degree in music, with the hopes that it will lead me to my PhD and a job in academics.  The thing is I know I will really enjoy being a professor, provided I don't spend over 100K getting there.

Life always gets in the way, but life isn't an obstacle.  All the crap you have to go through are part of it, and I'll say that being a full time student with a full time job on top of it (married with 2 kids) is not an easy trek to take.  I didn't play guitar even once during my entire undergraduate degree (IN MUSIC).  I have only just recently started to post on this forum again after an absence of about 6 years.  It's tough.

The thing about music though...  is that if it's not enough on its own, it wont be enough when it brings in the paycheque.  I think we can look to a lot of burned out rockstars to teach us that fable.

Goodspeed friends.    Kid #3 is on the way, and I am frantically trying to write a 25 page paper to submit 36 hours from now.  Maybe Sunday afternoon I'll unwind a bit and learn to play some Prince.

 

[stratamania]

You know, someone I know is riding a motorcycle from the UK to Australia via Europe, Far East etc. Normally works as a consultant but a year off doing that is a lifetime experience and afterwards he can go back to doing what he was doing before.

I'm not saying people should throw all caution to the wind, but even taking the safe option all the time isn't what it might appear.  It's always got to be down to the informed choice of an individual.

 

[fdesalvo]

Dammit!  You cats are so damn impressive!

 

[Kostas]

...All I know is that the jewel at the end of my 18 hour day of marketing and promoting...

The one thing I'm sure is this is no life. I'm angry with myself for wasting 8 hours of my precious time and a couple hours on the road from work to home, I hope you are earning really good money to give yourself to them. Working so much means you have no life unless someone is empty inside and lives through his work.

Everytime I go to a funeral I remember how small life is and how most of us are wasting ourselves on unimportant things. We don't know when a heart attack, cancer or simply a car will end our time on earth so If you want to do it just do it. It would be wise to have money on the side since you have a good job now to help you for a few years.

Finally think how you want to do it before you do it. Dealing with the bad side of music (record companies, promoters/managers) has nothing to do with art. They will suck your blood and they 'll ask for more!

 

[Logrinn]

+1

Very well said!