Quite a hefty demographic chunk of Americans, and people (there IS some overlap), don't really know WHY they find themselves gravitating to the "hobby" of working on their own guitars, maybe pick up a pickup, say, paint an ugly old P.O.S. of a guitar (Whast a loverly P.O.S. you have!) and then down the inevitable chute to the underworld of... kinda, well, right here, furzample.
Of COURSE the major driving force behind ALL SORTS of "acting out" among these latent mental health timebombs - THEY HATE THEIR TELEVISION! They hate their HOUSE... even if the entire house, grounds, terrarium, dungeon WHATEVER is totally theirs, all paid off - that howling screaming (yet soo-oothing?) lilting goddamn one-eyed sewage pipe OWNS YOUR LIVING ROOM. No escape. It's ALWAYS on. So, it's off to the dungeon tra la to pound and scrape and varnish and unvarnish and screw and unscrew a reasonably-innocent piece of wood(s). Take
THAT! FOX "News!" Pow! Pow! Take
THAT, oh ABC Bimboes of Stoo-pid! ZZZ-ZZZ-ZZZ!!! Take
THAT LAUGH-TRACK WHEN NOTHING'S even Remotely FUNNY!! Etc.
Why, pray tell, do you think Americans take vacations? Because they HATE their living rooms! The sewage is up to your neck... the sewage is up to your nostrils... tilt yo haid! Dog-paddle in molassasly-viscous Hollywoods somewhat-diarrhetic greasy poodle-pucky...
"I'm-a goin' under, honey remember I lo-... GLUB GLUB GLUB ptt."
SO-OO - Camping? Escape? Har Har Har, the Master Race has now PUT THE TELEVISION IN YOUR POCKET! A relaxing night out among the wilderness, stars everywhere, the kids squashed a bonus-level frog population trying to teach them "Sit!" "Roll-over!" etc., romance in the air (remain cognizant of the frog cemetery location tho); you, the Great Hunter, filleting and grilling up the hotdogs you tracked and caught BY HAND on the way out, and now, true family TOGETHERNESS - watching four different donkeybutt-drizzle sit-com re-runs on your four-different Samsung pocket thumbscrews. TV in your POCKET. Jesus Christ.
"But I can QUIT anytime I WANT to! I just.. don't... WANT to, right now."
(is that scratching sound the Mother Mary erasing you and the kids from the 144,000? Are there more channel stations in Heaven, or in HELL...)
YAY! HOBBIES! A soothing, relaxing, above-all TIME-CONSUMING escape from the filth-spewing brain-eating one-eyed (yet MASSIVELY multi-split-P) monster that owns your home. And yet - us ol' Cro-Magnums appear to have specifically-coded DNA streaks that allow us to not only
USE tools, but
IMPROVE tools to an astonishingly-efficient degree. What could've taken HOURS can now be done with a machine in short SECONDS! Throw enough money at it, why you can practically just chuck a whole TREE in the mouth hole and out pops a Strat from the...qrk..... output chute!
"maybe mount the thing to a sled and send it through a planer."
Umm, DO practice jumping OFF the sled before it hits the planer a few times? You don't need to go all Darwinian, like the guy KICKING logs into the woodchipper. Zounds:
http://www.insideedition.com/headlines/13437-teen-killed-when-he-was-pulled-into-wood-chipper-on-first-day-of-work
How much you wanna bet THAT guy had
just stopped watching television?
Normally my meter ticks way over to the "COMEDY" side (with the inevitable, tiny, little
frisson of anomie) when I see people with no real hope of
profit buying more, and more, and... mo STUFF to make everything in their "hobby" faster, quicker, better, bang it out, "whoa that sanding used to take me HOURS, now..." But, as a long-time scholar of EVIL, sozo-called "common" sense etc., I have to... the question MUST be asked:
Does your television want you BACK?
Are your hobbies
anti-NEW WORLD ORDER?
Couldn't this so-called "efficiency" possibly be beamed
straight from the Mothership to your brainstem lizard nub, snork that pup right back to obedience! ZZZ ZZZ ZZZ!
KIM KARDASHIAN'S ASS wants YOUR ass back, dude. Dissidence: part of a growing trend? If it wasn't for dissidence, we might not have no dense at all! But how long, what's the window, afore they re-program KIM KARDASHIAN'S ASS from "STUN" to "KILL?"
Point being, I'm pretty sure you can get away with wood-chiseling by hand, by candlelight, in the wee hours. Fire up the planer, the drones can pinpoint you in SECONDS!
Moral of the story: don't think you can improve a guitar by attacking it with power tools.
Though, as Granpawpaw used to say:
The ennui of the anomaly is the anomie of the anemone.
a course he was pretty-much hammered by noon everyday
