Cagey
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Or, get your drummer to settle down. The trend now is toward the (relatively) "quiet" stage. Get a small amp (or no amp) or a modeller that sounds the way you want it to, and/or run small speakers that are mic'd or the modeller direct to FOH for mixing/correcting and feeding the audience. Some don't even run stage monitors any more in favor of in-ear solutions that let the players customize their own stage mix. Works out well as many stages in those places aren't much more than drum risers, so room to set up is at a premium. In fact, there are a lotta bars/clubs that won't even let you in with 412 bottoms or stacks these days. Too loud and take up too much real estate.
The object of a band in most of those places is to entertain crowds of drinkers and possibly get them to dance, all in the service of selling more drinks. That's where the money comes from to pay the band and keep gas in the owner's yacht. When the audience can't carry on a conversation due to an overpowering band and goes home with hearing damage, it kinda puts the kibosh on the social interactions that pay the bills. Not to mention the safety of your own hearing.
The object of a band in most of those places is to entertain crowds of drinkers and possibly get them to dance, all in the service of selling more drinks. That's where the money comes from to pay the band and keep gas in the owner's yacht. When the audience can't carry on a conversation due to an overpowering band and goes home with hearing damage, it kinda puts the kibosh on the social interactions that pay the bills. Not to mention the safety of your own hearing.