Speaking of poetry, here’s a little thing I paraphrased about Admins and the various newbies, trolls, etc., they may have to deal with...
The Aaron and the Fry (with apologies to Mary Howitt (1799-1888)
"Will you log into my forum?" said The Aaron to the fry.
"'Tis the prettiest little forum that ever you did spy;
The way into the forum is through a login screen,
And I've many curious posts to show that you have never seen."
"Oh no, no," said the little Fry. "To ask me is in vain.
For who signs on your login screen can ne'er log out again."
"I'm sure you must be weary, son, connect costs are so high.
Will you post upon my message board? said The Aaron to the Fry.
There are pretty curtains drawn around; the client side is thin,
and if you'd like to post awhile, I'll moderate again!"
"Oh no, no," said the little Fry, "for I've often heard it said:
They never, ever leave again, who post upon your thread!"
Said the cunning Aaron to the Fry, "Dear friend, what can I do
To prove the need for hit counts that I'd like to get from you?
I have within my forum good store of all that's nice.
I'm sure you're very welcome. Do you like your Dew with ice?
"Oh no, no," said the little Fry, "kind Sir, that cannot be,
I've heard what's in your forum, and I do not wish to see!"
"Dear poster!" said The Aaron, "you're witty and you're wise.
How prescient your opinions, how brilliant your replies!
I have a little looking-glass upon my server shelf,
If you'll log in one moment, sir, you shall behold yourself."
"I thank you, gentle sir," he said, "for what you're pleased to say,
and bidding you good morning now, I'll call another day."
The Aaron turned him round about, and went into his den,
For well he knew the silly Fry would soon come back again.
So he wrote a subtle web page he'd been wanting long to try,
And set his table ready, to dine upon the Fry.
Then he posted once again, and merrily did sing,
"Come hither, hither, little Fry, with smarts and everything!
Your thoughts are so intriguing, there's brains inside your head!
You post things filled with great insight, while mine are dull as lead!"
Alas, alas! How very soon this silly little Fry
Hearing his wily, flattering words, came slowly surfing by.
Password in mind, he lurked along, then near and nearer drew,
Thinking only of intriguing posts, and brainpow'r through and through.
Thinking only of insightful posts, poor foolish thing! At last,
Up jumped the the cunning Aaron, and fiercely held him fast.
He dragged him to the server farm inside his dismal den,
Where to no one's surprise, of course, he ne'er came out again.
And now dear forum members, who may this story read,
To idle, silly, flattering words, I pray you ne'er give heed.
Unto an evil moderator close heart and ear and eye,
And take a lesson from this tale of Aaron and the Fry.
