NedRyerson
Senior Member
- Messages
- 595
My second commission ever was a friend asking for a guitar for her son. It was a kit build, but I was still getting my feet wet in this whole "guitar building" world at the time. By that time, I'd already built a few of my own, which was why I was asked.
It was a frustrating project because I was still learning as I was going. Even after 2 years, I looked back on this project with some regrets because I knew I screwed up different parts of it and that was all I could fixate on. It played well before I turned it over to them, and even when she brought it back for some maintenance work, it still played well (after I gave it a healthy tune-up as well as replacing some parts due to shoddy materials; again, import kit).
But my self-doubts and my imposter syndrome kept focusing on the flaws, not how happy her son was with the guitar. Complicated even further that her brother is a professional musician. They're going to expose me as a fraud. I just know it.
Today, it was her son's 13th birthday and his uncle (the musician) bought him an amp as a gift. My friend posted photos of them posing with the amp, restringing the guitar, then some videos of both her brother playing as well as her son playing. It sounded wonderful. It sounded and looked like a real guitar. I felt like crying, because I wasn't a failure.
In the time between I'd built that guitar and now, I've built others, of course. Some of other people, even. And I've gotten better with each project. But that one still stood out in my mind because it was one of my first for someone else, and that nagging doubt kept buzzing around in my head. The videos my friend posted of that guitar in action served as validation that I'm not incompetent.
I still have much to learn, of course. But it was nice to see and hear evidence from others that my work is not an abject failure.
It was a frustrating project because I was still learning as I was going. Even after 2 years, I looked back on this project with some regrets because I knew I screwed up different parts of it and that was all I could fixate on. It played well before I turned it over to them, and even when she brought it back for some maintenance work, it still played well (after I gave it a healthy tune-up as well as replacing some parts due to shoddy materials; again, import kit).
But my self-doubts and my imposter syndrome kept focusing on the flaws, not how happy her son was with the guitar. Complicated even further that her brother is a professional musician. They're going to expose me as a fraud. I just know it.
Today, it was her son's 13th birthday and his uncle (the musician) bought him an amp as a gift. My friend posted photos of them posing with the amp, restringing the guitar, then some videos of both her brother playing as well as her son playing. It sounded wonderful. It sounded and looked like a real guitar. I felt like crying, because I wasn't a failure.
In the time between I'd built that guitar and now, I've built others, of course. Some of other people, even. And I've gotten better with each project. But that one still stood out in my mind because it was one of my first for someone else, and that nagging doubt kept buzzing around in my head. The videos my friend posted of that guitar in action served as validation that I'm not incompetent.
I still have much to learn, of course. But it was nice to see and hear evidence from others that my work is not an abject failure.
