Real cool gesture...

[Torment Leaves Scars]

So I'm basically a co-writer with "my" band, but I actually haven't even had a chance to jam with "my" band yet.
 
It's a long story...My best friend from high school, Dave, and I got back in touch almost a year ago, and after having not spoken for nearly 17 years at the time.  We both got to talking and found we were both into music, so decided to collaborate on things.

Well, that started out as just writing a few songs, recording with a drum machine, and it was just us two.  Then he suggested getting a band together, because he enjoys playing out.  I'm pretty gun-shy, and was up front that I didn't want to play out because I get real nervous in front of a lot of people, I've never played in an actual band, and I'm just not confident in my abilities.

Dave suggested he put a band together to play out with, and asked if I minded if he played some of the songs we wrote together.  I didn't have a problem with it, and we eventually entertained the idea of adding a guitarist to play out with.  Since I'm not interested in gigging, I didn't have a problem with that, not to mention, I also live between 2.5 to 3 hours away from where everyone else is located.

We talked some more and he mentioned that I was working on some songs under "Torment Leaves Scars," and they thought it was a cool name and wanted to use it.  I didn't have a problem with that, considering Dave and I agreed to write some songs together, and him and the band would perform them, so, I guess instead of my "solo project" being "Torment Leaves Scars,"  now it's the band.  :icon_biggrin:

Now that there is a "band" in place, I'm going to co-write and try to work on just promoting the band, and taking care of some of the things on the "managerial" side of things. 

Anyway, Dave and I are tight like brothers, and he decided to do a real cool gesture for me.  He stopped over tonight with a few boxes.  He made and engraved some metal picks (dog tags) with my name in them and the band name, plus carved me a wooden guitar Xmas tree ornament with the band name painted on the back, and got me a tool case for the guitars with a plaque on it.  It was just a really cool thing to do, especially since he lost his job a while back, and is really struggling to get by.  I seriously felt guilty taking these gifts, but it was just such a kick-ass thing to do, and I just thought I'd share.

 

[SustainerPlayer]

Indeed a cool gesture :icon_thumright:

 

[Super Turbo Deluxe Custom]

That is a cool gesture, and you didn't ask so I'll give my two cents on performing. 

Stage fright should pass, and gets easier the more you do it.  The gigs I've been most nervous about were my first ones.  Luckily those are the ones you play in front of the least amount of people, and the people that are there are your friends and family that love you no matter what.  Hopefully you'll have a few backyard parties and private gigs that are practice gigs to wet your feet before you do it on a stage for money.

I've been playing with the same drummer for going on 4 years.  This is the 3rd band we've been in together.  We're loads better together now than we used to be.  We'd go see other bands play.  Good bands with good musicians, and he knew all of them, and he's playing with me because I'm more fun.  The lesson I took from it was to be yourself and play like you play.  Always be learning and aspire to be better but don't get caught up in what they're doing and you're not.  It was reiterated at a jam I went to a while back.  There were 2 other bass players there that were head and shoulders above everybody, then I got up.  I didn't stink up the joint, but a 4th guy came up and thanked me for not being a virtuoso.  That could be a backhanded compliment, but I knew what he meant.  He was too intimidated to even try.  I told him I know and have accepted most can mop up the floor with me but I do what I do and am comfortable in my own skin.  Frank Beard and Dusty Hill, Tommy Shannon and Chris Layton are more what I aspire to be like with my drummer.  There are flashier and fancier guys, but none are more solid.  Those guys do with 3 pieces what others can't do with 5.  More notes ain't better if they're the wrong ones.

 

[Torment Leaves Scars]

That is a cool gesture, and you didn't ask so I'll give my two cents on performing. 

Stage fright should pass, and gets easier the more you do it.  The gigs I've been most nervous about were my first ones.  Luckily those are the ones you play in front of the least amount of people, and the people that are there are your friends and family that love you no matter what.  Hopefully you'll have a few backyard parties and private gigs that are practice gigs to wet your feet before you do it on a stage for money.

I've been playing with the same drummer for going on 4 years.  This is the 3rd band we've been in together.  We're loads better together now than we used to be.  We'd go see other bands play.  Good bands with good musicians, and he knew all of them, and he's playing with me because I'm more fun.  The lesson I took from it was to be yourself and play like you play.  Always be learning and aspire to be better but don't get caught up in what they're doing and you're not.  It was reiterated at a jam I went to a while back.  There were 2 other bass players there that were head and shoulders above everybody, then I got up.  I didn't stink up the joint, but a 4th guy came up and thanked me for not being a virtuoso.  That could be a backhanded compliment, but I knew what he meant.  He was too intimidated to even try.  I told him I know and have accepted most can mop up the floor with me but I do what I do and am comfortable in my own skin.  Frank Beard and Dusty Hill, Tommy Shannon and Chris Layton are more what I aspire to be like with my drummer.  There are flashier and fancier guys, but none are more solid.  Those guys do with 3 pieces what others can't do with 5.  More notes ain't better if they're the wrong ones.

I keep trying to tell myself that if I just keep practicing, I won't even worry about playing in front of a crowd, because I'd know the songs so well.  I guess it's one of those things I really want to try, but I'm just too damned scared.  :-\

 

[TBurst Std]

Just get out there and play. Once you realize you will not die, it becomes easier.  :toothy10:
Right now I play consistently in front of a number of crowds weekly. Crowd size is any where from 300 at 1 place to 1000 at another place.

 

[Torment Leaves Scars]

Just get out there and play. Once you realize you will not die, it becomes easier.  :toothy10:
Right now I play consistently in front of a number of crowds weekly. Crowd size is any where from 300 at 1 place to 1000 at another place.

I'll go in there with football pads and a helmet.  I'll need something to protect me from the launched beer bottles and tomatoes...  :help:

 

[Cagey]

I had a hot chick tell me once back when I was a grasshopper that I shouldn't be so damn conceited as to think everyone was paying attention to me. I was never so embarrassed as I was at that moment, and it basically cured me of stage fright. I mean, who wants to think they're conceited? It's a Bad Thing.

Fact of the matter is, most people don't pay any attention to the musicians. They want to hear music so they can dance and get each other into the mood to screw their brains out. There are some who will pay attention, but it's basically stage envy. They want to know what they have to do to be in your place. What's funny is they're afraid to be there, and that's why they're not.

So, don't sweat it. No matter how bad you are, You're still a million miles away from the floor and you're still a star, and it only goes up from there.

 

[Super Turbo Deluxe Custom]

True.  I joke we know when there's musicians watching because they aren't enjoying themselves. It's a very, "that's not how I'd have done that" sneer.

 

[Torment Leaves Scars]

I had a hot chick tell me once back when I was a grasshopper that I shouldn't be so damn conceited as to think everyone was paying attention to me. I was never so embarrassed as I was at that moment, and it basically cured me of stage fright. I mean, who wants to think they're conceited? It's a Bad Thing.

Fact of the matter is, most people don't pay any attention to the musicians. They want to hear music so they can dance and get each other into the mood to screw their brains out. There are some who will pay attention, but it's basically stage envy. They want to know what they have to do to be in your place. What's funny is they're afraid to be there, and that's why they're not.

So, don't sweat it. No matter how bad you are, You're still a million miles away from the floor and you're still a star, and it only goes up from there.

Good point, but everyone's gonna notice when you hit a few sour notes or lose timing, which tends to happen to me quite often...

:tard:

 

[Cagey]

As long as it's not a way of life, I wouldn't worry about it too much. I mean - don't get me wrong - you should strive for excellence. But don't think for a moment that your audience has a clue. And not to disparage them either, but that's just reality. All the worrying you do about "do I have the right guitar? Does it have the right pickups? The right strings? Is my amp set up right? Is my hair ok?" ad infinitum. Just doesn't matter that much. What they want to hear is something with a nominally recognizable melody and the right lyrics. The singer is the most important, followed by the lead guitar player who's fairly far down the list. Drummer has to be able to keep time, and the bass player has to be in tune. Past all that, you can get away with murder.

Ever been to a wedding? Those guys play Led Zeppelin on Casio keyboards backed up with accordions and 3-piece drumsets played with brushes while the bass player is in the john doing a couple lines hoping to feel good about himself and what he's doing. Next day, everybody rants and raves about how great they were.

I'm not encouraging you to be a screwup, and personally if I'm not CD quality I don't want to play, but reality really is much different. You can play "Puff the Magic Dragon" and get standing ovations from many audiences. Maybe not here, but in front of a buncha drunks? Don't be so hard on yourself. Have fun. It's worth more than money.

 

[Torment Leaves Scars]

As long as it's not a way of life, I wouldn't worry about it too much. I mean - don't get me wrong - you should strive for excellence. But don't think for a moment that your audience has a clue. And not to disparage them either, but that's just reality. All the worrying you do about "do I have the right guitar? Does it have the right pickups? The right strings? Is my amp set up right? Is my hair ok?" ad infinitum. Just doesn't matter that much. What they want to hear is something with a nominally recognizable melody and the right lyrics. The singer is the most important, followed by the lead guitar player who's fairly far down the list. Drummer has to be able to keep time, and the bass player has to be in tune. Past all that, you can get away with murder.

Ever been to a wedding? Those guys play Led Zeppelin on Casio keyboards backed up with accordions and 3-piece drumsets played with brushes while the bass player is in the john doing a couple lines hoping to feel good about himself and what he's doing. Next day, everybody rants and raves about how great they were.

I'm not encouraging you to be a screwup, and personally if I'm not CD quality I don't want to play, but reality really is much different. You can play "Puff the Magic Dragon" and get standing ovations from many audiences. Maybe not here, but in front of a buncha drunks? Don't be so hard on yourself. Have fun. It's worth more than money.

All of what you're saying is true, but there's still that self-confidence issue that lacks when it comes to my playing.  I'm not one who'd want to go out and put on a half-assed show.

 

[Nando Vallart]

All of what you're saying is true, but there's still that self-confidence issue that lacks when it comes to my playing.  I'm not one who'd want to go out and put on a half-assed show.

At least half-part of doing something good is about confidence. I say if because I lack some of it to some things... Perhaps working it out could be good to you...

 

[Torment Leaves Scars]

All of what you're saying is true, but there's still that self-confidence issue that lacks when it comes to my playing.  I'm not one who'd want to go out and put on a half-assed show.

At least half-part of doing something good is about confidence. I say if because I lack some of it to some things... Perhaps working it out could be good to you...

I'm confident enough to make my own music and share it, but just not play it in front of a live audience...

 

[AprioriMark]

Stage fright is a weird thing.  I've never been afraid to play or sing anywhere as long as I have a guitar or bass in my hands.  Even without it, I don't get too nervous to play or anything.  When I've played sax, it's like the world is caving in around me.  I'm not entirely sure what the difference is, but I feel your pain. 

-Mark

 

[Torment Leaves Scars]

Stage fright is a weird thing.  I've never been afraid to play or sing anywhere as long as I have a guitar or bass in my hands.  Even without it, I don't get too nervous to play or anything.  When I've played sax, it's like the world is caving in around me.  I'm not entirely sure what the difference is, but I feel your pain. 

-Mark

Strange, but I guess anything is possible!  I too, wonder why that is...

 

[NLD09]

The only times I've ever really felt nervous before a show were the times that we got booked for a couple shows with a few hardcore bands. I was playing through a blues junior. Needless to say we didn't really go over.

To me it's just convincing yourself that you're a rockstar. If you think you are then most likely everybody else will too.

 

[Torment Leaves Scars]

The only times I've ever really felt nervous before a show were the times that we got booked for a couple shows with a few hardcore bands. I was playing through a blues junior. Needless to say we didn't really go over.

To me it's just convincing yourself that you're a rockstar. If you think you are then most likely everybody else will too.

At 37 years old, I don't think I'd convince anyone that I was anybody more than a fat, bald, washed-up Vince Neil LOL!