Oh god....

Just listened t it. I like the lead part a lot Max. For me the rythm is a bit too busy. I would try slowing it down, maybe less strums on your chord progression.    :guitaristgif:
 
Max said:
Does anyone have any suggestions to improve the song?
That's really good Max, impressive..But you need to work on your tempo skillz. A few places your a bit outta touch with the rhythm track. I think also the rhythm part would sound good as an acoustic track, or tone down the gain on what you have... :icon_thumright:
 
DangerousR6 said:
Max said:
Does anyone have any suggestions to improve the song?
That's really good Max, impressive..But you need to work on your tempo skillz. A few places your a bit outta touch with the rhythm track. I think also the rhythm part would sound good as an acoustic track, or tone down the gain on what you have... :icon_thumright:
Ha, I know my tempo's off. Maybe I'll borrow a 12 string for the rhythm. That could be cool.
 
Got a  chance to listen to this again after work...

It's great for a first up effort, believe me.

There's a pause about 2:10......I'd try to get find some drum loop samples and get a roll introing the drums right there.. Channel the 'Bonham' within. With the drums, borrow that bass guitar in your house & lay down a thick bass track from that point with the drums. Your guitar solo goes into overdrive from then too, so it would be a great point to throw everything into the song from then. Put the rhythm guitar right back into the mix though, it might sound too cluttered otherwise..

Put a tiny slab of reverb over the top of the whole mix when you are done. Don't forget to tighten up the transients from the drum loops by compression.

That's my 2c worth, but it's how I would work, you may wanna work the track differently.

You have done well, Max.


 
I have a lot of advice, both with songwriting and recording, but I'll start off slow.  

First of all, your sense of meter is very good for this being your first recording and not using a click track of any sort.  There are variations and inconsistencies, but you should be proud of your overall sense of time.

Second, I would make use of different tones for the guitars, and pan the tracks more aggressively.  

Ok, I guess that's enough for now.

-Mark
 
GoDrex said:
Like this thing -- I honestly believe that every single note that I play there is PERFECT. It can never be repeated.  :laughing7:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4u0lh76K1rA

Are you Waddy Wachtel in disguise, Gary?  :icon_thumright:  :icon_jokercolor:
 
Max, if recording using a mic, the pick hitting the strings sounds like it was picked up.  If that's the case, either record it louder or isloate it in a closet or use a longer cable to get further away from it.  It's a different sound than pick noise coming through the amp.  A little more finesse and less agression with the rhythm could help as well.  Find a strumming pattern because every strum has the energy likes it's going to be your 1st or last strum.  

In the mixing, you'll get a feel too for what needs to be dominant.  It feels to me like the lead and rhythm are both fighting to fill the same space.  Like Mayfly's chair of humility, when a whole band listens to a rough mix, each member wants their parts to be louder.  Since you did both parts, you might want both to be louder.  In a lot of recordings, if you listen to them with headphones, you'd be surprised what is there and what isn't, yet you still get the feel for everything.  A drum set can sound huge in a recording with few pieces by a nice locked in rhythm section.  Example, you don't hear the bass, but it sounds like the kick drum is changing pitch.  A kick drum "boom" or "slap" sound can change the feel of a song too.  The more you record, the more you will rediscover existing music and listen to it with new ears.    

I concur with the concensus.  Far from perfect, but a great learning exercise and 1st attempt.  Everything will get better.  Nice job, and mucho balls for putting this out there for everyone to critique!
 
One more thought.  Nothing has to be perfect either.  Some of the best music ever made is far from perfect.  Do you think Ringo or Bonham used a click track?  You're more Stones than Rush or Dream Theatre anyway.
 
Alright, take 2, with Roadhouse pickups. T-90 on lead, humbucker on rhythm. Pick was slipping, so there's some screwup in the middle on rhythm, which is not the pickup's fault.

http://max.efuclan.com/untitled%202.mp3

EDIT: Crap, forgot to add my mids back in the lead, that's why it sounds so thin. I didn't check it on normal speakers, just some headphones with decent bass response. I'll need to rerecord it.
 
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