Favorite Totally-Retarded Action-Movie Sequence?

S

stubhead

Master Member
Messages
4,669
Firstly, I don't mean anything disparaging about the term "retarded", why some of my best friends etc.... And I could actually probably justify including this post here, as I can convince myself that this sort of thing is inevitably-paired with what could best be described as "Totally Retarded Action-Movie Soundtrack Music"; all throbby, howling 'n' stuff; I hope you can make the leap to about 34:50 or so, because you REALLY don't need that first part to flesh out the scene:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mdchEmVJwJg

In fact I think it's to the point where they write out the action sequences and then make a half-hearted* attempt to hang a plot on 'em, i.e. "Parachuting hot rods?!?! Call Bald Guys & Beaner Girl! The plot's ready!"

*("...hearted" wasn't my first choice of noun.)
 
Probably doesn't count, as the movie is a self-parodying parody of action flicks, but...

Last Action Hero - the car chase / shootout scene. Driving like madmen, shooting over his back while AC/DC plays "Shoot to Thrill". Music stops, he reaches down in the seat beside him and flips the cassette over in the walkman, music resumes playing and he goes back to shooting over his shoulder. 
 
I'm surprised the FF7 movie is still up there - should disappear any second now.

I was actually thinking about action movies earlier today.  Car chase scene from The Blues Brothers, one of the finest sequences in film.
 
Okay, so I watched the sequence you suggested, Stubby, and while yes, it is gloriously "retarded", when I viewed it out of context, all I could say to myself was, "What possible turn of events, what mindblowingly unlikely problem, would necessitate such a baroque and implausible solution?"


Plus I've never heard Vin Diesel utter a line that didn't sound like he was fully aware of how ridiculous it was, leaving aside (just possibly) his work in Saving Private Ryan.


That aside:  The Italian release of this film, with Polish subtitles?  Wow, no chance in  Hades that's a legit posting to Youtube.
 
I'm not sure if this counts, but I can never stop laughing whenever I see this fight scene from Kill Bill.  :blob7:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RWwGXIjxbnI
 
e_cover.jpg


"Crank" was nothing but rediculous (well,.... except for the sex scene with Amy Smart. Ok, that was rediculous too,...  :toothy10: ) Has to be the low point in Statham's career.
 
Bagman67 said:
I'm surprised the FF7 movie is still up there - should disappear any second now.
Click to expand...

I had the same thought, so I downloaded it tout de suite. Dunno if/when I'll watch it, but I got it.
 
I managed to watch a whole 'nother 12 minutes or so. And Rhonda Rousey showed up and she and Hollywood's favorite (and ONLY?) scruffy street Latino girl were kicking each other through walls and stuff (speaking of "stuff" I was surprised at what great martial arts uniforms those satin evening gowns were, even stuffed to the sausage-busting limits!) and all I could think was: "Lucky me, cause I can escape this crap just by pushing a button, I don't HAVE to crash my Porsche at 180mph!"

I may be a bad person. :eek:ccasion14:
 
I have been waiting for a thread such as this for a long time.

How about the beach sequence from Commando, where the smoke behind the just-beached Ahnuld starts flowing behind him from nowhere.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top