DNA Testing

[DocNrock]

I've interacted with some of you for years, on and off.  Some not as much, but I still love your guitar creations.

That said, I want to share something with you all.  I'm 50 years old.  I grew up without a father.  Lots of details I'm not going to go into, but I've laid the groundwork.

Now, there are a few larger DNA testing sites:  Family Tree DNA, 23 and Me, and AncestryDNA.  For those looking for biological relatives, testing at these sites matches an individual up with their DNA relatives.  They give you an estimate as to your relationship in your list of matches, from parent all the way down to 8th cousin.

For someone looking for their biological parent(s), sometimes all it takes is to get a hit on a 1st or 2nd cousin who is willing to talk.  Some get really lucky.

After a couple of years of triangulating matches and multiple dead ends, I gave up for a few months.  I had a number of 3rd cousins and beyond, but noone close.  I did learn I was half-Mexican.  Since I look Irish (mother's side), that was a surprise, in and of itself.

A couple of days ago, I had the random thought to check my kits at each of the three testing sites to see if I had any new matches.  FTDNA, no.  23andMe, no.  Ancestry, yes, new match...  Relationship:  (username) is your Father.

WTF!?

OK, so I sent the man a message.  He last logged in on October 6th.  I'm waiting to hear back.  I'm 50 years old and my father is out there. 

 

[line6man]

That's a rough story. Best of luck to you, as you await the response.

I know a guy in his late 40s who just met his father for the first time, a couple of years ago. If I recall, his father tracked him down via FaceBook, and had been searching for him for many years prior. Long story short, they live about 100 miles apart, and now have a happy relationship.

 

[pabloman]

Wow Doc, that's pretty intense. I hope things work out for you the way you want. Good luck man.

 

[Nightclub Dwight]

Holy Crap!  Best of luck.  I guess the real tragedy would be to not hear from the guy after getting this close. I really hope this brings you happiness.

 

[stratamania]

Best of luck to you on how it progresses. Thats quite a story so far and must have been quite a surprise.

 

[Re-Pete]

Very interesting story. As you are 50, your father would be, what? 70 or more?

I do hope the username you've been matched with gets in contact & fills in all the missing information to your family. And I hope they do it sooner rather than later.

 

[Cagey]

I hate to be a gloomy Gus, but what if the guy doesn't want to be found?

 

[mayfly]

Yea - there is a potential dark side to all this.  Maybe after meeting them you wish you didn't?

I happen to be 51 years old and unfortunately never had a good relationship with my father.  Doesn't stop me from being the person that I am though. 

 

[line6man]

I hate to be a gloomy Gus, but what if the guy doesn't want to be found?

I'm not an optimist, but I would hope that by the time a guy gets into his 70s, he would be a little more open to being contacted by his son, after 50 years. When you get to the end stages of your life, you begin to think about the impact that you have made on the world, and question your legacy.

 

[pabloman]

A surgeon, a family man, a sexy guitar collector(the guitars not Doc, although he is a handsome man), that's a hell of a legacy. Anyone would be proud to be connected, no matter how minute the connection.

 

[DocNrock]

Thanks for all the replies.  Too bad this forum doesn't have a multi-quote feature. 

Let me just say, first of all, thanks for all the well-wishes:  Line6man, Pabloman, Nightclub Dwight, Stratamania, Re-Pete, Cagey, and Mayfly.

To Cagey, I had considered that he might not have wanted to be found.  That is entirely possible.  Weird thing is, though, he registered his testing kit on my birthday this year.  1:365 chance of being a coincidence.  Hopefully he didn't see his results and instantly die of an MI! 

To Mayfly, sorry to hear about your relationship with your father.  I had a similar relationship with my mother, but that did not stop me from becoming who I did (my grandparents had a lot to do with that).  But, I think Line6Man is right.  His username ended in "41."  Birth year?  That would make him 74. I never knew the man.  My father's identity was the mystery of my family.  My mother took that knowledge to her grave.  He might be a good guy.  He might not.  Time will tell, I guess.  At least I know he could afford $99 for DNA testing.  Why he tested, I haven't a clue.

And thanks, Pabloman.  Very kind of you.  :icon_thumright:

 

[Surf n Music]

Congrats Doc! I am pulling for ya and a happy ending (beginning). Congrats on the new job too! Love it when waves of good things crash around good peeps!

 

[DocNrock]

Congrats Doc! I am pulling for ya and a happy ending (beginning). Congrats on the new job too! Love it when waves of good things crash around good peeps!

Thanks to both, Eric!  Like Mayfly said, I might meet him and be totally turned off.  Entirely possible.  But at least it would allow my to resolve a big open question in my own mind.

Can't wait to start the new job!

 

[fdesalvo]

Doc,

I hope that no matter what the outcome may bring, YOU experience a sense of peace and closure.  This is the adventure of a lifetime and I hope you get some seat time with this man.  You are in my prayers.  Thank you for sharing, brother.

Best,

 

[BigSteve22]

Wow Doc, just found this thread. Amazing! My heart goes out to you Brother, I wish you all the luck in the world. Look at it this way: If the man didn't want to find his past, why would he submit to Ancestry DNA? Hope everything works out well.

 

[Pharos]

Just saw this. I really hope this turns out positive for you.

 

[musicispeace]

Wishing you the best on this. At the very least you will have something answered. Take care.