Cooking For Fun and Failure

[Cagey]

I really appreciate what I learn from cooking threads on artist/engineering forums and we've never had one here that I'm aware of, so why not give it a shot? In my experience, some of the best ideas/techniques come from thinking/creative type people rather than recipes.

My first shot here is a dismal failure that normally works out well. Involves a pressure cooker. All you do is peel and cut up some yukon gold or red potatoes into roughly 1" chunks and drop those in the basket (about 4 or 5 decent-sized units), then very coarsely chop a couple medium-sized sweet (Vidalia if you can get them) onions and pile those on top, then bias-slice a couple pounds of kielbasa and drop that on top again. Bring it up to pressure, give it 5 minutes, and it's glorious. The potatoes get infused with the onion and smokey pig fat, and it's delicious. Maybe drizzle some ranch dressing on the taters... mmm....

You just have to make sure you STAY OFF THE PHONE! Particularly if it's some chick you really want to talk to. Make an excuse. Promise to buy her something. Invite her over to share. Whatever you gotta do - pressure cookers need to be timed/monitored because they can wreak havoc.

I got back to this rule for about 30-40 minutes after developing pressure, and it was a dismal mess. I think I actually changed the molecular structure of the meat, the potatoes were nothing but hopeless mush and the onions were non-existent. I mean, I gotta dump it, it's so bad.

But, don't let that put you off. It really is a good plan. I've done it dozens of times. Just... watch the timing.

 

[line6man]

I tried my hand at Kahlua-flan, recently, and it tasted amazing! It just didn't look great, because I didn't have the proper cookware to do it, so I baked it in a cake pan, and flipped it over onto a cookie sheet. The inch and a half of space between the flan in the cake pan and the cookie sheet allowed gravity to do its thang and mush up one side when I flipped the pan. The other side was unharmed, however, and all of it was delicious!

Max sent me a North Carolina BBQ recipe a couple of weeks ago, and I decided to give it a try. I was a bit wary of the sauce, as it was almost entirely apple cider vinegar, but it turned out great. I had nice tender pork that was slow cooked all day until the meat was falling off the bone. :icon_biggrin:  No failures there, except, perhaps, not using the proper potato rolls, and sipping iced tea. :blob7:

 

[Cagey]

Yeah, having all the little bowls/containers various desserts call for means you need about an acre of kitchen storage space, and who has that?

We got into Crème brûlée this year for the first time, which is essentially just inverted flan that lets you play with fire, and now we've got to figure out where to put 8 little porcelain ramekins that'll never get used again. Next time, I'm just going to make a custard pie and call it a love story. At least I'll re-use the pie plate, since I loves me a coconut or banana cream pie now and then.

 

[Jumble Jumble]

I can at least share my "recipe" for perfect burger mix. Half chuck steak, half ox cheeks. Have them minced together just once. That's it, no herbs or any of that crap, just form it into patties by hand and then salt and pepper them heavily. Cook medium rare however you like (barbecue/griddle/etc), and make your regular burger with them (we use brioche rolls and variety of cheeses, sauces and pickles).

 

[Nightclub Dwight]

That would make a great burger!

I love beef cheeks.  Its a hard to find cut in America. I get mine directly from a small scale cattle farm.  I braise beef cheeks like a pot roast and they come out almost buttery.

 

[Torment Leaves Scars]

I think the best thing I've cooked in my kitchen is Hunt's Tomato Sauce. :help:  I've added a slight bit of Thyme, Savory, Garlic, Oregano, Onion Powder, and Garlic, and it hasn't turned out too bad.  Don't ask how much of each, because all I can tell ya is, "a few shakes of each."

About two months ago I took a stab at making my own tomato sauce from scratch, and let's just say I can't imagine ANYONE (or anything) would have eaten it.  It was literally nauseating.  I'm sure I probably used the wrong tomatoes, to start off with, and things just went downhill from there.  The consistency, color, flavor, etc. were all just WRONG.  :tard: :doh:

Since the painful defeat, I've just stuck to throwing dashes of spices into Hunt's.  :redflag:

 

[Cagey]

Around here (Michigan), we only get good tomatoes for about 6-8 weeks out of the year. The rest of the time, I wouldn't feed what's readily available to a hog. Just pitiful. I mean, the difference is like cheesecake vs. used cat litter. So, at one time I thought making tomato sauce during that brief period would be a Good Thing. It's not. Don't know why; it just doesn't make any difference. It's an exercise in futility. Even the best chefs will tell you to use commercially canned tomatoes/sauce/paste. There's no flavor/consistency hit, and it's as predictable as sunrise.

Raw tomatoes for sandwiches, salads and such are a different matter. The only time to make BLTs, or add tomatoes to salads, burgers, etc. around here is when they're in season.

Oddly enough, bananas are the same way. Most people aren't aware of it because they don't grow them in this country, but you go down to the tropics and get a banana that's been allowed to mature naturally, and it's a whole different thing.

 

[Torment Leaves Scars]

Around here (Michigan), we only get good tomatoes for about 6-8 weeks out of the year. The rest of the time, I wouldn't feed what's readily available to a hog. Just pitiful. I mean, the difference is like cheesecake vs. used cat litter. So, at one time I thought making tomato sauce during that brief period would be a Good Thing. It's not. Don't know why; it just doesn't make any difference. It's an exercise in futility. Even the best chefs will tell you to use commercially canned tomatoes/sauce/paste. There's no flavor/consistency hit, and it's as predictable as sunrise.

Raw tomatoes for sandwiches, salads and such are a different matter. The only time to make BLTs, or add tomatoes to salads, burgers, etc. around here is when they're in season.

Oddly enough, bananas are the same way. Most people aren't aware of it because they don't grow them in this country, but you go down to the tropics and get a banana that's been allowed to mature naturally, and it's a whole different thing.

The tomatoes here are terrible, it doesn't matter which season or the time of season it is.  There are a few local farmers who grow some fairly decent tomatoes, but there have been a few occasions where I have actually tasted the pesticide on store-bought ones.  They've found their way straight into the garbage.

Quite honestly, the best tomatoes I'd ever eaten are the ones I've grown myself.  I use no pesticides, whatsoever, and they taste fantastic.  Unfortunately, they just don't last long.  I didn't grow any this past year, but for 2012, we had two plants and they just "blew up."  We had more tomatoes than we knew what to do with.  We were giving extras away to everybody.  They were really good tomatoes.  More than likely, they would have made good "sauce tomatoes."

The biggest problem with the tomatoes I used were that everything was just wrong.  For some reason, after boiling them, they tasted (and smelled) absolutely nauseating.  Prior to boiling, all was well.  I haven't the slightest clue how good tomatoes could wind up tasting and smelling as horrible as they did.  It was one of those cases where you can taste the smell, and it wasn't a good smell.  The entire ordeal left me scratching my head, as the tomatoes were not rotten, tasted, and smelled great until I boiled them.  Go figure...

That being said, it was a lesson learned.  Unfortunately, those 9 lbs of tomatoes were not cheap, as you always pay more when they come from a farm.  :dontknow:

 

[erogenousjones17]

Can I ask why you boiled them? Were you blanching them (i.e., plunging them in boiling water for a few seconds, then dunking them in ice water) to make them easier to peel?

 

[Cagey]

The tomatoes here are terrible, it doesn't matter which season or the time of season it is.  There are a few local farmers who grow some fairly decent tomatoes, but there have been a few occasions where I have actually tasted the pesticide on store-bought ones.  They've found their way straight into the garbage.

If you live in an area where it's possible to grow tomatoes, there has to be a season for them and they have to be great. But, one thing I've noticed is some places get their tomatoes from the same growers regardless of the season and they're always bad. The local Kroger is that way. I don't know how they sell a single unit from about the end of July to the beginning of September, because they keep offering the same disgusting hothouse stuff while everybody else is selling the infinitely superior local crop.

They do sell "organic" veggies and fruit, but it's mostly crap I wouldn't eat unless I was starving and in fear of death. I prefer the taste of pesticides and insecticides (which I can't taste and don't know anyone who can) over the taste of mold, mildew, fungus, bruising and dirt at double the price due to low crop yields resulting from careless management. At least the chemicals wash off and you can use the vegetation; the organic stuff has to go in the trash whole.

 

[erogenousjones17]

At least the chemicals wash off and you can use the vegetation; the organic stuff has to go in the trash whole.

You could compost.  :icon_jokercolor:

 

[Cagey]

You could compost.  :icon_jokercolor:

Could. Not gun do it. Draws insects/mold/mildew/fungus/hippies/stench. Then you need more pesticides/herbicides/fencing to protect the good stuff. Nothing against the 'cides, but they aren't free.

 

[erogenousjones17]

Don't blame you. Here the city provides big, brown wheelie bins for compost, which they pick up once a week, dump into one of a number of trucks they bought for the purpose and haul it 30 miles to some sort of processing plant, where I can only assume it's mixed in with regular garbage and thrown away. It costs a fortune (and there are only 5,000 of us in town to foot the bill).

 

[Torment Leaves Scars]

The tomatoes here are terrible, it doesn't matter which season or the time of season it is.  There are a few local farmers who grow some fairly decent tomatoes, but there have been a few occasions where I have actually tasted the pesticide on store-bought ones.  They've found their way straight into the garbage.

If you live in an area where it's possible to grow tomatoes, there has to be a season for them and they have to be great. But, one thing I've noticed is some places get their tomatoes from the same growers regardless of the season and they're always bad. The local Kroger is that way. I don't know how they sell a single unit from about the end of July to the beginning of September, because they keep offering the same disgusting hothouse stuff while everybody else is selling the infinitely superior local crop.

They do sell "organic" veggies and fruit, but it's mostly crap I wouldn't eat unless I was starving and in fear of death. I prefer the taste of pesticides and insecticides (which I can't taste and don't know anyone who can) over the taste of mold, mildew, fungus, bruising and dirt at double the price due to low crop yields resulting from careless management. At least the chemicals wash off and you can use the vegetation; the organic stuff has to go in the trash whole.

See, the problem is that the tomatoes do get washed off, but somehow they've found their way into the tomato itself!

Can I ask why you boiled them? Were you blanching them (i.e., plunging them in boiling water for a few seconds, then dunking them in ice water) to make them easier to peel?

Yes, you guessed it! 

 

[Nightclub Dwight]

Let me take a crack at this.  We host a dinner party every Thursday, 52 weeks of the year.  We have an Excel spreadsheet with every dish we ever made going back six years.  Someday I'd like to parlay it into a book.

Tomato sauce is one of the easiest things to make at home.  Exact measurements are not necessary.  I always start out with an onion.  I like the good old yellow onion, also known as a Spanish onion.  Dice it up and simmer the onion in a pan with some olive oil on medium heat.  You want to cook it till it gets a sort of golden yellow, a little short of browning it.  Don't worry if some onion browns, but aim for golden yellow.  When the onion is looking good add a clove or several cloves of minced garlic.  Add more or less depending on your taste.  You can mince it with a garlic press or simply mince it fine with a good chef's knife.  Careful here, garlic burns easily.  I drop it into the pan, stir it around, then within about thirty seconds I add a can or two of tomatoes.  I like to use whole peeled tomatoes, but you could use diced or pureed.  Let it come to a slow simmer and reduce heat so that it just barely bubbles.  After about 20 minutes or so your onions should be pretty soft.  My favorite spice is just some dried (or fresh) thyme.  Oregano also works well.  My secret ingredient is fennel seeds.  Try it before you dismiss it.  If you really don't like fennel, leave them out, but do try to use some thyme or oregano (or both.)  Basil also works well.  Be sure to add the spices toward the end of your cooking or else their subtle essence is destroyed.  I usually puree my sauce with an immersion blender, but you could also use a regular blender, food processor, or just leave it chunky for a more rustic taste.

The best canned tomatoes are usually San Marzano tomatoes from Italy.  They may be expensive at the grocery store, but I find them a lot cheaper at Italian specialty markets.  Or, you can use a regular domestic canned tomato.  Some are better than others, so find a brand you like and stick with it.

That is a good all purpose general tomato sauce that you can adapt to a lot of different uses.  Tomato sauce made from fresh tomatoes is made a little different, but I'll save that explanation for a night when I haven't been drinking so much wine (dinner party earlier tonight....)

As for compost, I am a big believer.  I compost every vegetable scrap that comes out of our kitchen, as well as egg cartons, egg shells, brown paper bags, newspaper, dead leaves and other yard waste.  Never put any meat, dairy or cooking oil into the compost.  I use a simple open compost that I constructed from 4 wooden pallets that I simply screwed together, with the front pallet tied on to allow it to open.  I stir my compost with a shovel a few times a year, and harvest a few wheelbarrow loads of rich brown soil once a year that I put on my garden.  My compost doesn't smell foul at all, even in the heat of the summer.  There are commercial compost bins that will break down the material faster, but I'm fine with the cheap old fashioned way.

Let me know if you have any questions about compost or the tomato sauce and I'll try to answer with what I've learned from experience.

 

[Torment Leaves Scars]

Let me take a crack at this.  We host a dinner party every Thursday, 52 weeks of the year.  We have an Excel spreadsheet with every dish we ever made going back six years.  Someday I'd like to parlay it into a book.

Tomato sauce is one of the easiest things to make at home.  Exact measurements are not necessary.  I always start out with an onion.  I like the good old yellow onion, also known as a Spanish onion.  Dice it up and simmer the onion in a pan with some olive oil on medium heat.  You want to cook it till it gets a sort of golden yellow, a little short of browning it.  Don't worry if some onion browns, but aim for golden yellow.  When the onion is looking good add a clove or several cloves of minced garlic.  Add more or less depending on your taste.  You can mince it with a garlic press or simply mince it fine with a good chef's knife.  Careful here, garlic burns easily.  I drop it into the pan, stir it around, then within about thirty seconds I add a can or two of tomatoes.  I like to use whole peeled tomatoes, but you could use diced or pureed.  Let it come to a slow simmer and reduce heat so that it just barely bubbles.  After about 20 minutes or so your onions should be pretty soft.  My favorite spice is just some dried (or fresh) thyme.  Oregano also works well.  My secret ingredient is fennel seeds.  Try it before you dismiss it.  If you really don't like fennel, leave them out, but do try to use some thyme or oregano (or both.)  Basil also works well.  Be sure to add the spices toward the end of your cooking or else their subtle essence is destroyed.  I usually puree my sauce with an immersion blender, but you could also use a regular blender, food processor, or just leave it chunky for a more rustic taste.

The best canned tomatoes are usually San Marzano tomatoes from Italy.  They may be expensive at the grocery store, but I find them a lot cheaper at Italian specialty markets.  Or, you can use a regular domestic canned tomato.  Some are better than others, so find a brand you like and stick with it.

That is a good all purpose general tomato sauce that you can adapt to a lot of different uses.  Tomato sauce made from fresh tomatoes is made a little different, but I'll save that explanation for a night when I haven't been drinking so much wine (dinner party earlier tonight....)

As for compost, I am a big believer.  I compost every vegetable scrap that comes out of our kitchen, as well as egg cartons, egg shells, brown paper bags, newspaper, dead leaves and other yard waste.  Never put any meat, dairy or cooking oil into the compost.  I use a simple open compost that I constructed from 4 wooden pallets that I simply screwed together, with the front pallet tied on to allow it to open.  I stir my compost with a shovel a few times a year, and harvest a few wheelbarrow loads of rich brown soil once a year that I put on my garden.  My compost doesn't smell foul at all, even in the heat of the summer.  There are commercial compost bins that will break down the material faster, but I'm fine with the cheap old fashioned way.

Let me know if you have any questions about compost or the tomato sauce and I'll try to answer with what I've learned from experience.

I'll try using these San Marzano tomatoes if I get the itch to try making it again.  We also have a composter, and while it does attract some serious flies, I can't say the compost leads to a foul odor...that is, until some assh*le my wife is friends stayed with us for a weekend and decided to piss in it to "activate" it.  Yeah, it "activated" it, alright.  I told him if it happened again, I was gonna piss in his bushes if I ever bothered to stay a weekend at his place.  I also told him if I walked out of my house to find him standing over my compost pile with his ____ in his hand, I was going to call the cops and report him for public indecency.  I can't stand him, so we haven't been out to stay at his place.

 

[Nightclub Dwight]

If there are too many flies or bugs in your compost you can spread saw dust or straw on top and that can help to keep the insects down while still allowing the compost to work.

Sorry about the "friend."  He sounds like a piece of work.

 

[Torment Leaves Scars]

If there are too many flies or bugs in your compost you can spread saw dust or straw on top and that can help to keep the insects down while still allowing the compost to work.

Sorry about the "friend."  He sounds like a piece of work.

Yes, he's quite the advocate for hygiene and idiocy.  Every time he visits, he leaves a mess in his wake.  He throws his luggage all over the house, craps all over the toilets (and doesn't clean up his mess), and leaves the bathroom so wet you would swear the National Water-Balloon Fighting championship took place in there.

Naturally, of course, it would be "my" bathroom he leaves destroyed.  I finally told my wife, "I'm sick of cleaning up his sh*t, literally.  For now on, whatever mess he leaves, YOU are cleaning it up!"  All my friends clean up after themselves and leave the house the same way in which they entered it.  If you've met some of my friends, they're the ones you'd think would leave disasters in their wake.

Anyway, enough talk about the disgusting slob, talking about him is doing nothing to whet the appetite!  :icon_smile:

I'll give the "sawdust trick" a go this season and see how it works out.  Thanks for the suggestion!