Death by Uberschall
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A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture
in California when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced toward him
out of a cloud of dust.
The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses
and YSL tie, leaned out the window and asked the cowboy, "If I tell
you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, Will you
give me a calf?"
Bud looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully
grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, Why not?"
The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects
it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the
Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his
location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the
area in an ultra-high-resolution photo..
The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports
it to an image processing facility in Hamburg , Germany ..
Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image
has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL
database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on
his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response..
Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized
HP LaserJet printer, turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly
1,586 cows and calves."
"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says Bud. He
watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on with amusement
as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.
Then Bud says to the young man, "If I can tell you exactly what your
business is, will you give me back my calf?"
The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why
not?" "You're a Congressman for the U.S. Government", says Bud.
"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"
"No guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed
up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer
I already knew, to a question I never asked. You used millions of dollars
worth of equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you are;
and you don't know a thing about how working people make a living - or
about cows, for that matter. This is a herd of sheep. .......
Now give me back my dog.
:laughing7:
in California when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced toward him
out of a cloud of dust.
The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses
and YSL tie, leaned out the window and asked the cowboy, "If I tell
you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, Will you
give me a calf?"
Bud looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully
grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, Why not?"
The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects
it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the
Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his
location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the
area in an ultra-high-resolution photo..
The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports
it to an image processing facility in Hamburg , Germany ..
Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image
has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL
database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on
his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response..
Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized
HP LaserJet printer, turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly
1,586 cows and calves."
"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says Bud. He
watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on with amusement
as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.
Then Bud says to the young man, "If I can tell you exactly what your
business is, will you give me back my calf?"
The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why
not?" "You're a Congressman for the U.S. Government", says Bud.
"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"
"No guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed
up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer
I already knew, to a question I never asked. You used millions of dollars
worth of equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you are;
and you don't know a thing about how working people make a living - or
about cows, for that matter. This is a herd of sheep. .......
Now give me back my dog.
:laughing7:
