AprioriMark
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mayfly said:
Well, I have this lesbian friend who's 26 (I'm 31, and we've been friends since she was 17). She always goes on about how lesbian drama is the best drama, and we'll often laugh about things in her life over dinner. This last one is so amazing that I'm not sure I've been able to stop laughing yet, and it happened two weeks ago.
So anyway, she met this girl in a bar in Seattle. After they'd hung out a few more times, the girl admitted that she was actually 20 and not 22 like she'd said. They got a lot closer, and this girl started living with her a couple days a week. They were one of those couples who text constantly, send each other little gifts... you get the idea; totally sickening. Well, a couple weeks ago, my friend calls me all worried because she hadn't heard from her girl at all in a few days. We went out for drinks and tried to be positive and not assume the worst.
(Here's where it gets amazing)
The next day, she gets a phone call... from the girl's mother. She starts off the conversation by apologizing for her daughter's behavior, mentions that she'd gotten herself in some trouble, and so she's read her email (being a concerned parent). She'd read about her relationship with my friend, and called to tell her the bad news. The bad news? Oh, she's not 20. She's 16. That's right, 16 years old, picking up lesbians in a bar. Needless to say, my friend was floored, both for emotional and legal reasons. The girl's mother was very nice about it all, thankfully.
My friend really lost her mind about this, questioning how she could have been so foolish. I tried to lighten the situation by mentioning how this really proved that lesbian drama is the best, and she giggled. I then did the most awesome friend thing ever and said, "Hey, look at it this way, maybe she can take you to show and tell after recess!" This was followed by several moments of silence, then "&*$@ you, Mark." I waited a few moments longer, and we both bust up laughing. I went on to ask if it was really even illegal, and she mentioned that she'd bought her a couple sex aides, to which I replied, "I guess this gives those 'Toys For Tots' drives a whole new meaning, huh?"
Long story short, she won't return the girl's calls now, changed her locks, and anytime I even think of bringing the subject up, she says things like, "don't you say a damned thing, or you will know real suffering." We both laugh, and I continue to be happy that I'm a guy... a guy who likes women who like guys.
-Mark
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