The Broccoli EP (2019)


Senior member
Hey, my nuglets. I'm back and boy does it feel like forever since Ive been to this wonderful corner of the netscape. Errbody have a good late summer? mine was good but also scary and yet fun.

I saw an add on craig list's for a new small business guitar store downtown so i decided to go check out the grand opening. I had to meet a guy a few miles away who said he'd drive everybody there because the parking lot was under construction. I was worried at first because that just creepy, but when I met him his car had a bunch of guitar-related bumper stickers so I knew he was into the scene. It was only me and one other guy one who showed up so he told me he'd give us the private tour. he wasn't lying about the parking lot, but it turned out the store was an old circuit city. It had been a long time, but I remembered the location, but now the building was so #non-descript, like i couldn't even begin to descript it right now.

when we went in a guy in a black robe led me to the warehouse where there were a bunch of other guys in black robes with guitars strapped to their backs in a big circle. i could tell they were all white and i was surprised because statistically you'd think at least one out of 50 would be a person of color. I said "hey guys if i wanted to see a cracker factory i'd visit Nabisco", but nobody laughed.  they were all holding candles and chanting stuff. Sometimes it sounded like latin or greek (i didn't take those classes, so don't ask me which), but i also heard English words like "plate voltage", "harmonic distortion", and "lydian dominant off the tritone".

Is this what all grand openings for guitar stores are like, and if not, can I go to one of the different ones because I almost don't want to play guitar any more. They made me wear a patch cable like a necklace and anointed me with lemon oil and a bunch of other stuff i don't want to talk about. i don't know what happened to the other guy, maybe he didn't get the private tour after all. i don't remember how the rest of the day went I just know they took my travel ranch and didn't give it back.

So anyway, I had a couple friends crashing at my place a few weeks ago and told them to go #hogwild on the mic and no matter what they did i would write a song around each performance, transmogrifying them as required. I'm right chuffed with the results and decided to release the experiment as a free EP on the clouds of sound. it's a brief 4 tracks long but it kinda sticks with you, yeah?  i hope you enjoy!



Senior member
BroccoliRob said:
...I said "hey guys if i wanted to see a cracker factory i'd visit Nabisco", but nobody laughed...
I'm laughing!  :laughing11: :laughing3: :laughing7: