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South vs. North

DangerousR6

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The difference between the North and the South - at last, clearly explained....
The North has Bloomingdale's , the South has Dollar General .

The North has coffee houses, the South has Dairy Queen.

The North has dating services, the South has family reunions.

The North has switchblade knives; the South has guns.
The North has double last names; the South has double first names.

The North has Indy car races; The South has stock car races .

North has Cream of Wheat , the South has grits.

The North has green salads, the South has collard greens .

The North has lobsters, the South has crawdads .

The North has the rust belt; the South has the Bible Belt .

FOR NORTHERNERS MOVING SOUTH . .. ....

In the South : --If you run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in a four-wheel drive pickup truck with a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them, just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.

Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store..... Do not buy food at this store.

Remember, 'Y'all' is singular, 'all y'all' is plural, and 'all y'all's' is plural possessive.

Get used to hearing 'You ain't from round here, are ya?'

Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later on how to use it.

Don't be worried at not understanding what people are saying. They can't understand you either. The first Southern statement to creep into a transplanted Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective 'big'ol,' truck or 'big'ol' boy. Most Northerners begin their Southern-influenced dialect this way. All of them are in denial about it.

The proper pronunciation you learned in school is no longer proper ...

Be advised that 'He needed killin..' is a valid defense here.

If you hear a Southerner exclaim, 'Hey, y'all... Hold my beer and watch this,' you should stay out of the way... something is about to be destroyed

If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the smallest accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local grocery store. It doesn't matter whether you need anything or not. You just have to go there.

Do not be surprised to find that 10-year olds own their own shotguns, they are proficient marksmen, and their mammas taught them how to aim.

In the South, we have found that the best way to grow a lush green lawn is to pour gravel on it and call it a driveway.


REMEMBER: If you do settle in the South and bear children, don't think we will accept them as Southerners. After all, if the cat had kittens in the oven, we ain't gonna call 'em biscuits. 
 
What? my son is not a biscuit?
well, I guess I am technically not a northerner in the south..

some things I noticed..

'aha' really means 'you're welcome'.
whenever I said thanks and got 'aha' as a response, I always thought it was a kind of sarcastic 'yeah right' response.

Also, when they say 'I'm fixin to' , it doesn't mean they want to repair something, they are just about to do something random.
I even heard the variation on that, just 'finna'

oh and Luke says 'reckon' all the time
almost forgot.. if somebody says they want to drink a coke.. they do not necessary want a coke.. it could be any random soda drink.
 
Just to make a few clarifications about the north ... the REAL north!

In Canada we do not:

Live in igloos
Say "eh" at the end of every sentance.
Believe that curling is a real sport (the only sport that matters on the ice is HOCKEY!)
Seal or polar bear hunt
Have winter 12 months out of the year.

However, we do know how to drive in the snow.
We have some pretty great beer (reminds me of a joke ... what do American beer and making love in a canoe have in common?  They're both f#@%king close to water!)
We have had some great musicians come out of this country (and I will apologise for Celine Dion ... what were we thinking!!!!!)
 
Mark O said:
almost forgot.. if somebody says they want to drink a coke.. they do not necessary want a coke.. it could be any random soda drink.

when i was 7 we went to visit family in oklahoma and asked for a "pop" like a blow pop. my uncle handed me a dr. pepper. i was confused and told him i didn't ask for a "coke" i asked for a pop.


in high school we went to new york for a band trip. turns out some northern high school band was stayin in the same place. i said "where y'all from?"
they mocked my accent. turns out they were from Wisconsin. I wasn't aware i had an accent until that day.
 
FOR SOUTHERNERS MOVING NORTH...

Don't, the weather's awful.  Also, no offense, but I don't want you guys coming to my state and... voting. :eek:
 
I may be stepping in it here, but I'm from the north and have spent the last couple of months working in Waco, Texas.

The south has wonderful people, but they have strange driving rules.  It seems there is no such thing as an illegal U turn, and the roads were evidently laid out by someone who was out of their mind.  And I have driven in Washington D.C..

As unpleasant as they are, I would rather endure a winter in Illinois than summer in Texas.  How can it be this hot and hummid every day?

I have had all the fried alligator, fried okra, chicken fried steak, and Big Red I think I need.

I did see an armadillo on the way to Houston, though. :icon_jokercolor:
 
dbw said:
FOR SOUTHERNERS MOVING NORTH...

Don't, the weather's awful.  Also, no offense, but I don't want you guys coming to my state and... voting. :eek:
Same for us, stay up north..... :icon_biggrin:
 
DangerousR6 said:
dbw said:
FOR SOUTHERNERS MOVING NORTH...

Don't, the weather's awful.  Also, no offense, but I don't want you guys coming to my state and... voting. :eek:
Same for us, stay up north..... :icon_biggrin:

That's a deal, Doug.  :icon_biggrin:
 
REMEMBER: If you do settle in the South and bear children, don't think we will accept them as Southerners. After all, if the cat had kittens in the oven, we ain't gonna call 'em biscuits.

That's a really provocative statement. Remember: you were born in the United States and are American, and if you moved into the north, we would welcome you.
 
I'm a New Englander by birth, but spent two years in Brimingham, AL before moving to Hong Kong. I have to say that in many ways Alabama was more foreign...

The supermarket didn't have a salad bar. Did have an amazing array of beef, though.

The entire state shut down for the Alabama/Auburn game, and I knew better than to leave my house when Talladega was going on.

The phrase "Fixing to" never got any more enunciated than "finn'a", as in "Im finn'a buy lunch; y'all want somethin'?"

People were very kind in general, until you declined the invitation to their church or admitted to not being particularly enamored of NASCAR. These are apparently the two biggest things in AL, and the lead changes during the year. I used to say that if the South was the Bible Belt, Birmingham was the buckle!

They serve both kinds of tea; sweet and less sweet.

They also serve some of the best BBQ in the world (though Memphis, for me, holds the title).

I don't fault the people at all; as I said, 99% were very nice. I just wasn't fond of the lifestyle or the pace, or especially the weather. Sweat and deer hunting should be mutually exclusive. 

Having traveled through Texas, I can say that a dead armadillo smells worse than a dead skunk.
 
dbw said:
FOR SOUTHERNERS MOVING NORTH...

Don't, the weather's awful.  Also, no offense, but I don't want you guys coming to my state and... voting. :eek:

Believe me my friend, we feel the same way on the voting part.


The weather here isn't so much awful as it is pschizophrenic.  If you don't like it, wait ten minutes and believe me, it'll change.
 
Oh, btw... Florida isn't south. Not the parts you think of when you hear Florida. It's just part of the north that got lost and got warmer.
 
I spent a few months in West Palm, FL, and was shocked when I finally found someone that grew up there. Lots and lots of out of staters there.
 
DangerousR6 said:
The North has Bloomingdale's , the South has Dollar General .

we (The Yankees) have dollar general and other dollar stores...
The North has coffee houses, the South has Dairy Queen.
Diary Queen too...

The North has dating services, the South has family reunions.
yeah we don't have families up here in the north and if we did we'd never have reunions :laughing7:

The North has switchblade knives; the South has guns.
switchblades? who ever wrote this thinks we live like "West Side Story?" There's a gun shop right down the street from my house. Funny story: some crooks crashed their truck through the wall of the store in the early morning one day, stole some guns and went on a crime spree, stealing drugs from the local drug stores. then they got caught. my guess is they were meth heads. yeah we have them too.

The North has Indy car races; The South has stock car races .
that doesn't explain all the traffic here this weekend caused by all the NASCAR fans going to and from the Pocono 500



 
 
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