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One of those epic...epic..out of control nights!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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slashgnr88

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we have all had them. drank too much. woke up somewhere crazy (under a coffee table at a strangers home 400miles away from your house). ran across a public park fully nude screaming at something that isnt there. jumped off a house into a pool of Jello. tried to fight someone twice your size. or your shadow. 

Post your craziest out of control stories!!!!!!!!
 
Involved "weapons" (ahem), a drunk, an angry dog, three women who worked for the CIA (who knows), Ybor City, Dunedon, Mons Venus, nuns (same women), dancers (yep, same women), and a whole lot of Drambuie.  And cash, did I mention the cash?
 
woke up in Vegas Married to someone I worked with


Nahhhhhhhhhhhhhh we did not get married, but we were naked in bed together and she followed me around for months wanting more. I guess I had good luck at the Crap tables as I had 7 grand in chips and we had airline tickets home on the floor. I snuck out and was going to get breakfast when I saw my reflection in the elevator mirror and decided that I really needed to put some attention into my appearance, went back, and she was awake so I had to have breakfast with her and figure out how a couple drinks after work had turned into Saturday morning in Vegas.
 
Pretty much every great Hold Steady show back when they used to be awesome ended the same way (eerily similar to CB's story):

Pensacola parties hard with poppers pills and Pepsi
Ybor City is tres speedy but they throw such killer parties

Killer parties almost killed me

And if she says we partied then I'm pretty sure we partied
I really don't remember
I remember we departed from our bodies
We woke up in Ybor City

It all fades to black after that.  I do remember being onstage a number of times while that song played.

 
I've lived like a monk compared to your guys!!!!!  :icon_thumright:  :sad:
 
Nightclub Dwight said:
Ybor City is tres speedy but they throw such killer parties
Click to expand...

If you know Ybor then you know the Mons and Club 2001 as well... over on Dale Mabrey.  That last run paid for an entire wing of my fortress/house/abode/grotto.  You can do that ONCE.  The top part wasn't the nuns makin' out with each other back at their place.  It was my drunk "associate" telling the cop that pulled me over - goods on board - that "the drugz isz upsh the dogsh ashh oshifer...".  The cop thought he was fakin' it.  The dog just growled at the cop.  Let me be clear, there were no drugs of any type involved here.  Just covert ops.  Very covert for the day.
 
All at the hands of being in bad bar bands, I've witnessed more of these type moments than I've ever been a part of.  One such instance involved 2 women in a bathroom (one of which was my neighbor) and a bandmate.  After thinking at length of how and whether or not to approach the neighbor and neighbor's husband about it, the husband volunteered that they were swingers and wished the wife would exercise more discretion around those not in the know of their lifestyle choice.  I thought I was going to see clothes in the front yard the next day down the street.  Nope, status quo.  2 people that love each other very much, but never stopped dating.  Situation normal.
 
I once went out, got a bit drunk and woke the net morning in a golf cart on the hard shoulder of a motorway. In a clown costume two sizes two small for me with a green peace signer upper guy. His face was immaculately done up with woman's make up. We didn't know each other, none of our friends knew anything(allegedly) yeah probably the oddest thing that's happened.
 
Super Turbo Deluxe Custom said:
Jusatele said:
woke up in Vegas Married to someone I worked with
Click to expand...

If this was while doing electrical work, most women on jobsites are nothing to write home about.  lol
Click to expand...
I work in open business enviroment, We work in and around open businesses bringing them up to modern energy management standards
 
Good Lord; I could probably write a book of these...

One of the more embarrassing moments in my life...

When I was 18 or 19 I worked for this crazy drunk veterinarian. He had a crazy divorced drunk girlfriend, a serious MILF in her early 40's and very attractive. She came by at closing time one day half-way sloshed trying to get him to go out with her, but he wasn't interested and rebuffed her. She decided to ask me out drinking with her to piss him off (he actually found this wildly amusing and gave me shit about it for years after). She poured no end of I don't remember what down me and took me home and used me repeatedly; what little I recall of that did seem rather pleasant... Next morning I get up, come down to breakfast she'd said she'd cook for me and her daughter is there. The daughter, of course, was the Hot Chick in 8th/9th grade I was in madly in love with but would never even talk to me. Most Awkward Breakfast Ever award by a mile...

And I won;t even speak of what happened on Nickle Lone Star Longneck Night at the Cosmic Cowboy club in Dallas...
 
We had a squadron Party in Iwakuni japan, a few guys spent a week brewing a big Garbage can full of jungle juice, it tasted very weak, but i forget what happened after two glasses of that stuff, Took me about 5 years for me to fill in the details.

What happened was some guy met me in the restroom with a baseball bat and tried to attack me, I took it from him and beat the shite outta him, 2 days later i asked him, whats with all the stitches on your head( about 300)

He said i did that to him, which I laughed off, but years later the memory came back.  In my defense,  he attacked me first. Of course I felt bad about it, but we were civilians by then. Hope he's doing ok now  :sad1:
 
man i cant compete wth any of you guys.

@jack sounds like that girl was stuck up anyway, looks like you got the better of her.

@ alfang sounds like a typical night in the pacific. it wasnt as wild in the northern part of japan, even the americans were kinda calm. but it pretty much sounds like stories ive heard from the philipines and south korea.
 
"@jack sounds like that girl was stuck up anyway, looks like you got the better of her. "

Not really, she was into jocks and I was obviously the skinny hippie type out smoking dirt weed by the trees....

Coda: about twenty years I ran into her at a function blew her off and didn't recognize her as after a couple of kids/divorces she got huge; didn't even know who she was until the next morning when I looked at the business card she'd slipped me.
 
what i mean is if you think you were embarrassed what do you think she felt like having her drunk mom take home one of here school mates! especially the skinny stoner that she wouldn't have anything to do with! that's epic!
 
One of the best stories is about the night a friend brought over some moonshine and after bout an hour one of our friends disappears, We all had been doing a quite a few shots and he had been complaining about wanting to go out and find some women. I kinda figured he had gone home to pass out. Well anyway he showed back up about 2:30 AM in his BVDs, he had gone after this lady down the street and was having a bit of success with her on the trampoline in the back yard when her Husband came home early from a hunting trip, So he lit out of there fast leaving everything but his skivies. We convinced him he needed to go back and find his Wallet, well he went and the guy heard him in the back yard and peppered his rear end with duck shot. From then On we called him Donald, I think we dug 7 or 8 shots out of his butt. Thing is she was known for such and her husband never divorced her. Now Donald, he refused to come back into the neighborhood after that even if the guy only saw his butt end. I was back in Florida visiting my father last year and my brother drove me out to see Donald, and over a few beers the story of how he got his nick name came out, we laughed for an hour or 2 telling my brother and a few friends about that night.
 
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