A much anticipated explanation..,

kG

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knucklehead G here. Hold the tomatoes, at least for the moment. This might take a while.


First off, I sincerely, humbly apologize for my past behavior. Selling the bass several of you helped to purchase and quitting the forums was in exceptionally bad form, and while I have been lurking in guest mode off and on I do fully agree with those describing that as a "d-bag move." I understand an explanation was posted, copied from Facebook chat, but removed. This is a truncated version, and if you aren't comfortable reading into my personal life you may stop here.




I have bipolar type II, and I am not on medication. Through a support group of highly understanding friends and family, I manage to lead a fairly steady life, most of the time. I have trouble holding jobs but I'm not on any drugs or anything like many self-medicators and I can usually get by. Occasionally, I slip. When I do, its in one of two ways. If its a depressed phase I usually start drinking, but on the manic mood swings, I either buy buy buy or sell sell sell. Murphy was victim of a sell mode.

In that short time frame I sold off nearly everything I owned. I wasn't supporting some bad habits or about to be homeless or anything, I just got in my head that I needed to sell regardless of loss and I couldn't focus on anything else. Last time was a buy phase, and I took out a high-interest signature loan for $3000, paid in full for a motorcycle I didn't know how to ride and totaled it on the way home from the dealership.

As far as quitting the forum, at the bad times I really can't cope with people questioning what I'm doing. I just shove that person away and keep doing it. Online, that is extremely easy - I deleted my account and the bookmark to the forum, and let you guys have your way with my reputation. Which was justified on your behalf.

Max has asked me a few times about returning to the forum, and as I was doing a long slow crawl back onto stable grounds I kept declining as I didn't think it would be wise. I'm still not sure if this is wise, but I've been okay for a few months and owed you guys an explanation (and money).


On the money front. I have finally, through fifteen months of persistent annoyance, gotten to where I am having regular correspondence with Patrick Sims again. I got all that I am going to get in way of apologies, which was basically a thirty minute, "Its not my fault," phone call where I got maybe five words in edgewise. The end result is that my bass is not returnable due to an accident at the shop. ORCHRiST was lucky, and his Aces High Strat apparently was delivered after the problem happened, whereas my lava pearl P showed up just in time to get destroyed.

Sims is offering me $500, the cost of the body plus the paint job. He says he is still working through paying off customers who suffered property damage, and it will be about two months until I can expect my refund. At this point I have no reason to doubt him, as he has been extremely forthright in answering every single question I have offered, and even tried to return a pocket dial (forgot to lock my keys) twice today. This is not redeeming the guy for horrible business practices, but it is giving me hope.


Once I get the money back form Patrick (not in a position to do it before), I will be issuing refunds to each person who PayPal'd me money for Murphy. Call it an apology, an attempt to re-balance my karma, another d-bag move or whatever makes you feel better, but I feel I owe this to you people who contributed. I ask you to PM me if you did with your PayPal email address, as I only have my PayPal records and not all of them contained screen names.




Besides this update, if I'm not welcome I will gladly pack my bags and move on along again, and just come back to send out the money when I get the chance. If I am, I'm no longer in possession of any bass at all, or guitar, or even a kazoo or something, but I'd be equally glad to slip back into the forum and try to be a productive member of society again.


Whatever is right by you.
 
we all have problems, yours might be difficult for others to understand but you made an appology and i think people can appreciate that. i think anyone willing to lend moeny and truely expects it back is a fool. as the old saying goes "a fool and his money....." you know how that ends. anyway they certainly have the right to be angry. but i dont think anyone here will ask you to leave. generally you were a pretty good guy and i wouldn't have expected any of that from you, i think maybe some people will be more cautious with there money and maybe you will be less likely to accept. i think if you pulled the same move twice you'd be less likely to come back. i wasn't involved in any of what happened, and i was away from the board while the comments happened but i have a feeling you'll be forgiven or atleast tolerated by everyone.
 
well first off, i guess i don't know the whole money story, did you win a raffle or something? It doesn't matter.

secondly, If you have a medical condition that medication would fix, why aren't you taking the meds?

I just got diagnosed with high blood pressure, surprise for 51 yrs old, and am on meds to correct it. I gotta tell ya, I didn't know how bad i was till I felt better, I feel great with way more energy and many here can tell you I haven't been a big boom-boom lately ( but that could change :)

If I were you i wouldn't worry too much about what others think, just move on in a positive manner and people will forgive any past actions
 
Blood pressure meds repair something that is wrong with your body. They don't go beyond that. Meds for Bipolar (and meds for a lot of other issues) do something else, they actually change who you are, or at least you may percieve it that way. In the school where my wife works we see a lot of kids with ADHD where the parents refuse to have them put on the medication because the long term effects aren't known. It makes things a lot harder for the kids and also for the teachers, but I have to admit that they do have a point and there is no absolute way of saying that their choice is right or wrong.
 
Alfang said:
secondly, If you have a medical condition that medication would fix, why aren't you taking the meds?

My brother was diagnosed with Bipolar when he was 6 years old.  My parents followed the doctors instructions and put him on whatever drug (I'm not sure, I was only 8).  It stopped his wicked mood swings and violent behavior, but it also turned him into a zombie and severely affected his learning development.  He quit talking unless he was hungry or wanted something, and just stared out into space for minutes on end.  Needless to say, my parents were very concerned, and with the doctors help, went through 3 or 4 different drugs trying to find one that worked and didn't leave him like a vegetable, but never found one.  After several months, my parents decided to wean him off the drugs, which was a very long and arduous process.  He had to be admitted to a special hospital ward where people could watch him and keep him under control (his violent mood swings got 10x worse).  It took about a month to get his body regulated again, but then it took almost a year to get him back to the same learning level he was before (he forgot how to read, couldn't do simple math, etc.).

My brother is now 17 years old, and leads a very normal life.  He still has his moments, but has learned how to avoid situations that cause him to blow it. 

In short, drugs aren't always the answer.
 
Well, I for one am glad that you and Patrick are finally communicating on some level and that some resolution has been
reached (even though its a bummer you had to jump through so many hoops and a good bit of time passing since the
start of the mentioned SNAFU). Hope everything works out man!

:rock-on:

ORCRiST
 
This is a guitar forum, I think everyone here can relate to making some mistakes once in awhile.  Its all part of growing up--and I mean that as a lifelong process.

Heck, look at what members of Congress do on a regular basis, and they rarely leave office.  There is no need for you to leave the forum.

I'll pass along what a favorite college professor told me many years ago.  We all mistakes, what counts is how you handle yourself in the aftermath.

Welcome back.
 
Welcome back, Ian! Glad to hear you got back in touch with Sims, and best of luck with this renewed communication.
 
Welcome back.

I was probably the most vocal about it, and it had nothing to do with me.  For that I apologize.  That is nothing that you did to me that needs forgiving. 

It seems you're trying to make things right and do the right thing.  However, I would guess most people that helped you out wanted nothing in return than for you to enjoy a bass.  Repayment is certainly a noble gesture on your part.

I knew you were bipolar and the everyday things that seem noneventful for most have to have a little more intentional concentration and effort.  It seems in my everyday dealings, no one is "normal."  Whether it be alcoholism, OCD, ADHD, depression, etc., etc.  We're all judged by our actions and there is often no sliding scale to judge us on what we're capable of dealing with.
 
Welcome back.
We need bassists back  :hello2:
Just out of interest where has murphy ended up now, does someone on the forum have him or someone else?
not asking to take a shot at you just thought id keep an eye out case any parts turn up on ebay or anywhere in the future
 
And to add to those comments about meds, I have depression problems, but I made the decision to not get meds (or even get officially diagnosed, I was unofficially diagnosed while participating in a study), because I knew how I reacted to things, how I felt, what I did... they're all what makes me... me. I can function, I'm not hurting myself or others, so I don't think I will change myself.
 
I'm bipolar myself, and the "learning phase" took me from about the age of 40 to 46 or so. There are some horrible, dangerous drugs out there and some of the doctors rely WAY TOO MUCH on the drug company's representatives to determine treatment. Medical care is in a bad way in this country right now, the doctors are expected to PRODUCE RESULTS by beancounter standards and this means ramming through as many patients as possible.

The prescribing of drugs is very trendy, too. Each drug is give a 4 - 6 week trial, and if the test groups don't die WHAMMO it's out on the market. Remember Vioxx? And Celebrex? In essence, the patients are the guinea pigs. There is now an anti-psychotic on the market called Seroquel that is being used for bipolar, panic attacks, and post-traumatic stress disorder. In 2010 the maker, Astra-Zeneca, was fined 520 MILLION dollars for flat-out BRIBING doctors to prescribe Seroquel off-label - as a sleeping pill and such. Just recently, they've been treating Iraq war veterans with post-traumatic stress disorder with it, and the veterans are FOUR TIMES more likely to commit suicide while they're taking Seroquel.... and the last administration was pushing very hard to cap lawsuits related to pharmaceutical malpractice - the pharm lobby in congress is one of the largest and they're still pushing this very, very hard. The net result would be that a doctor can poison you with no consequences.

My bottom line?

1)There is absolutely no excuse for prescribing anti-psychotics off-label, the only legitimate purpose is to treat patients in the midst of a psychotic break. Bipolar disorder is not a minor form of psychosis. And neither are PTSD, sleeplessness or friggin' anxiety problems.

2) Never take any medication until you've had a chance to check it out. I actually find Wikipedia to be very, very good. The pharm company's websites are worthless, as are most of the blogs - people who feel awful and throw over three drugs at a time to take four new ones, there's no way to tell what's working that way.

3) So, YOU - personally - have to get scientific about the process of medication and treatment. The mood shifts are too long & unpredictable to really isolate what one medication is achieving in a month or two, it takes a long time to work through the catalog changing one drug at a time, waiting a few months to see what happen. If you can find a good psychiatrist who can take the time to work with you on this, consider yourself very, very lucky - the ones who can see you for 15 minutes every three months are likely to do more harm than good. A good psychiatrist will appreciate the fact that you're trying to educate yourself about how to manage this, a bad one will just throw the Seroquel at you so you'll  remain so doped as to stop bothering him/her/it - I can tell some stories, oh boy.

4) This one's hard, but you have to stop acting stupid. If you really, really want something, write it down on a clipboard, and don't buy it. If you still REALLY REALLY need it, write it down again. If after three months, it seems like a good idea, well then, maybe so. And don't drink alcohol, that's like putting gas on a fire to put it out. There isn't enough alcohol in the world to "fix" you. Self-medicating usually just widens the mood swings in the long run.

Look, I have tons of this stuff - a friend of mine is just going it through it too, he's semi-proud about managing to "escape" the medical profession till the age of 52 (!), but of course he's done some damage along the way. It ain't tragic, romantic etc, it's no different than having a bum leg or bad eyesight. You just deal with it. Back-channel me if you want to trade e-mail, I can recommend some good reading at least.

(Shoot, this'ns loo-oong - Abner, fetch me thet thar Seroquel, pleez....) :hello2:
 
stubhead said:
4) This one's hard, but you have to stop acting stupid. If you really, really want something, write it down on a clipboard, and don't buy it. If you still REALLY REALLY need it, write it down again. If after three months, it seems like a good idea, well then, maybe so. And don't drink alcohol, that's like putting gas on a fire to put it out. There isn't enough alcohol in the world to "fix" you. Self-medicating usually just widens the mood swings in the long run.
Yeah, learning to live with the problem, instead of trying to avoid it, is the best way in my opinion to deal with stuff like this.
 
@stubhead - They had me on Seroquel as a sleeping medicine at the same time they also had me on Depakote, where the doctor jacked me from 500mg / day to 1500mg / day in under a month and my hair started falling out in highschool. I got kicked off the newspaper staff's photography team because I couldn't hold a camera steady for shaking. I was 15, and I think that high dose for the few months I was on it did some damage. I'll try out your #4 suggestion.

@Max - I agree, I've got to learn to manage my mood swings if I --- Wait, why the crap am I quoted in your signature? I'll get you..  :doh:
 
i was diagnosed with "depressive mood" as well as other depression symptoms but no doctor had the nerve to call it depression and they all wanted me on the meds anyway. it was all part of a big mess and lazy doctors that eventually ended in me leaving the airforce which was a shame because i liked what i did.

i had huge bags and black circles under my eyes, i was in great physical pain and suffered from exhaustion, i don't mean i was being lazy, i mean i could barely stand under my own strength, my urine would fluctuate from clear to orange/brown throughout the day no matter how much water i drank. but there was no detectable disease or ailment. my resting heart rate was about 45bpm so it wasn't quite low enough to raise a red flag, to most people it would indicate someone with great cardio but i could only pass my pt test 50% of the time. my blood work showed "only one" liver enzyme was elevated, my weight was healthy and i didn't suffer from depressed mood in reality i just sounded lethargic because i had no physical strength left. the doctors didn't have evidence to move in any direction and had no ideas but insisted that anti depresants would help me cope.

even though there wasn't a depression diagnoses it was so easy to call everything something that the drugs can be used to treat, like neurological pains and sleep deprivation. i couldn't deprive myself of  sleep if i tried but that was there explaination for the fatigue. idiots!

well anyway the irony was that i eventually became a bit depressed over the fact that i couldnt get a doctor to take me seriously, that meant that i had no answer for my military supervisors if i failed a pt test or was late for duty, i was threatened with malingering charges for missing duty being at the useless clinic on base with no diagnoses. then when i wasn't going to the doctors i was told that i was "faining ill" at work and therefore i was still malingering so i should go to the clinic to get something done. the anxiety caused by this all was crippling at times. ok here is the actual irony. if i had taken the anti depressant and complied with the doctors wishes i wouldn't have had the anxiety that caused my depression and thus not needed anti depresants. i would have been able to explain my condition as a problem the clinic was helping me with or a side effect of the medication, they would have seperated me and never taken disciplinary action.

it was lose lose take meds i dont need or need meds because i dont take them. separate before they take disciplinary action or after. those were my choices.

as soon as i got home i crashed physically, if that is possible. i spent weeks in bed. i had nowhere to be so there was no reason to overcome it. when i finally went to the va they ran some labs and i had hypothyroidism. i took meds for that but my body would adjust and then i'd be worse off than before i took any, i'd wait 3 months of being useless and get an adjustment and get 2 weeks before i was useless again. i stopped taking the meds after a year because i thought it was gonna kill me, the trend was that i was getting worse and had no hope of holding down a job because of my condition. over the last couple years i have gained back all 55 lbs that i lost to get in the airforce most of it while i was on the thyroid meds because there were so many ups and downs with my metabolism and the weight is harder to lose than it is to gain. 

well anyway, as i have been able to figure out by changing my diet is that much of what happened to me before was agrivated by food. when i eat beef or drink dairy (which used to be daily so i could never make the connection) i sleep for days and my eyes turn black and my urine turns orange/brown and my knees feel inflamed. when i eat tomatoes (im italian so that's hard to avoid) i feel feverish sleep an extra 2 hours and my hands get stiff and swollen. i still dont know what's wrong with me but i can live almost normally despite the hypothyroidism and strict diet.
 
My dad is bipolar as well. He self medicated with tons of alcohol and didn't take his medications consistently at all. Eventually it all came to a head after he and I got into a fist fight which put him in the hospital (more for the psychosis than the fight) and me getting stitches on the bottom of my foot, which is very painful btw, I don't recommend it. Now he takes his depakote regularly and is exactly as he was before he let the disease take over. He hasn't had a drink in half a year now. Hopefully it stays the same.

There's no point to this story, I just felt like sharing.
 
Dan, there's something called the "elimination diet" where you specifically avoid certain food groups on a calender-based system, to see which things are aggravating you. I've had a couple of friends who went through it, and it really helped them. One had the "nightshade allergy" which is tomatoes, potatoes and green peppers, and another had to watch for MSG and caffeine. There's almost certainly a doctor in your area who knows about it, or it's easy enough to generate your own chart with the info on it, right on the internet. It sure couldn't hurt to try it.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elimination_diet
http://www.webmd.com/allergies/allergies-elimination-diet

The hardest part is reading food labels real carefully, it's amazing how much corn syrup and sugar is in peanut butter, marinara and the like. And in my opinion, some of the plans work too fast - it may take a month or so to specify exact irritants.

This is off-topic, except if you can stop feeling like shit all the time, you can work harder, make more money, and squander more on Warmoth parts - Yay! Right? Ahem.... :cool01:
 
Well, sorry to hear about the problem.  As far as the bass is concerned, the wonderful thing about Warmoth is you can always entertain another bass building idea.  Don't worry too much about it, learn from what happened, and move on.  As far as issues, I have been a type 1 diabetic since I was three.  That was before blood tests were available, so grade school was at times quite interesting.  My thyroid decided to quit about three years ago, and I am just getting a handle on that medication.  Still ache a lot and I'm more tired that I should be from the thyroid, but it is much better than untreated.  I also have two close friends that have had mental disorders and treated them with medication.  Both Ph.D students, oddly enough.  One ended up on her floor unable to get up because of anxiety.  She was diagnosed and treated with a medication that a relative used, and in less than a month she was admitted to a mental hospital.  Imagine having that on your medical record.  Second time around the meds worked, and she could go out and function normally.  The psychological effect was not that great either.  She was paranoid about her behavior for quite some time, but eventually got over it.  My other firend on meds is terrible.  Well no she isn't, but she doesn't take them regularly, goes from being a child to isolated, and can be brutally malicious at times.  The meds she is on were described as, it puts the bad thoughts in another room and you can deal with them later.  This means she can be horribly mean, and not worry about it.  Whe.  

Finally, Dan025, an electrician friend of mine had very odd and obtuse symptoms that didn't make much sense to anyone.  He stumbled across a quick and easy test for a fungal infection, and this worked out to be his problem.  Since your symptoms don't seem to follow a normal pathology, you might try the, I almost cringe saying this, spit test listed here.  It doesn't cost anything, and it might help.  It helped my buddy get help for his problem.  If you have already tested for it, nevermind.

Back to the start of this opus, Mr. G, I hope things get better and welcome back.
Patrick

PS, I am not the Patrick that was mentioned in his post.  I am much lazier...

 
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